Wednesday 27 January 2010

Liturgies for pregnancy

This is not a reference to the fertility rites associated with our friends with an interest in the Moon Gibbon, but a reference to the fact that it has reached my attention that the Church of England makes very little special provision in terms of liturgy for those celebrating during pregnancy. Standing around for long periods of time with ones arms in the air, with items of food in front of one would seem to be rather an obvious invitation to "morning sickness" (or "pretty-much-round-the-clock-nausea-now-get-out-of-my-way-Hnaef", as Mrs Hnaef used to refer to it). It is almost as if those preparing the liturgies for use within the Church of England had not considered women when undertaking their deliberations.

I believe that we, the Beaker Folk, have much to offer in this regard, and have requested that the Beaker Liturgy Examination Undercommittee Group Region Husbourne Crawley (BLEURGHC) investigate possible improvements to the current arrangements. I think we can confidently expect use of tea-lights (probably unscented, in this case), pebbles and comfy sofas to feature heavily. Possibly with the words "Hnaef, would you mind getting me a cup of tea while I put my feet up for a bit" as a refrain at some point.

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