Monday 31 January 2011

Listening to Popular Opinion

Never let it be said that I don't listen to the voice of the People.

I have heard the Beaker Folk outside all day shouting "Eileen Out!", "Free Elections to the Moot" and "The Archdruid is a tyrant!"

And what I think they're trying to say is, I need to rebalance my seconds in command.

So I am announcing today sweeping changes to meet the needs of the People.

Hnaef, who was formerly Executive Arch-Assistant Druid, is now Arch-Executive Assistant Druid.
Burton Dasset, formerly Treasurer, is now Finance Director.
And Young Keith's Uncle, the Police Constable, is herewith appointed to the strictly emeritus post of Security Advisor with Special Powers, which I will not be going into now.

Normally I would be dealing with this kind of trouble-making by singling out Drayton Parslow as the ring leader and locking him in the Doily Shed. But on this occasion I suspect that he has nothing to do with it. Still, best to take no chances, so I've locked him up anyway. Oddly enough, Marjorie was very keen to help. She said that, while she sympathises with Drayton's aims, and believes that the Beaker Folk are entitled to a say in the running of the community, she is aware that the Folk also need a strong leadership.

Tomorrow's talk in the conservatory will be on the ancient Stoke art of "Rearranging Deck Chairs".

3 comments :

  1. I hear that the London Dungeons have some spare apparatus going spare in their stores.

    I am sure that if you were to lease some of it, just having it installed might calm nerves (or cause terror) and allow the normal state of affairs and dictatorship to be resumed speedily.

    One way to calm Drayton down would be to confiscate his KJV and give him a copy of the Good News Bible, by the time he understands the language used, he will be a reformed character.

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  2. eileen, what happened to the trusty old Slazenger V whatever it was? Surely its time has come or did I miss something?

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  3. You need to ban the KJV as a subversive book, and conduct a commination service to make everyone repent. Get them onto safe ground thinking about their sins, and looking to JC as their personal saviour.

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