Friday 15 July 2011

Equal passport rights for Christians

Drayton round bright and early, wanting to know why, if Austria can change the rules so a Pastafarian (i.e. nerd in a colander) can have his photo like that - colander and all - why can't Drayton get the rules changed on British passports?

"I am always smiling, because my faith has filled me with Inner Joy" he told me, "and yet the evil powers of secularism won't allow me to smile on my passport. The rules should be changed. I may appeal to Europe."

"Drayton," I said, "the reason you're always smiling is because you sang the hymn "Trust and Obey" once and you think that mandates you to go around like a grinning loon. If your simple, gormless soul considered for one moment the depth and width of sorrow that grips this blighted Earth - and the infinite physical and spiritual agony that was undergone so that even your pointless, twerpish soul might be saved - you would rather fall on your face and weep in torrents of horror and gratitude, than smile.

So anyway, he's gone off grinning. He's going to petition the Home Office.

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