Wednesday 3 August 2011

Death of Grinling Gibbons (1721)

It's going to be a great Grinling Gibbons Day today. As we commemorate the only church carving expert anybody has ever heard of. A famous English artist who was born and raised in Holland. A man whose genius is so well known because all the churches in the City of London had burnt down when he was a young man. Conveniently.

In fact, doesn't this give us room for some suspicion? We're told that Gibbons moved to Deptford "round about' 1667. Is it straining credibility to assume he actually caused the Great Fire of the previous year, setting fire to Samuel Pepys's cheese while Christopher Wren fitted up a baker's servant as the cause of the fire? Cherchez la femme, as the French would put it - or look at who's gonna make a few quid. That's the way to look at it.

Ooh. I seem to have inadvertently accused our nation's second most famous architect, as well as our only famous wood carver, of arson.  Sorry, I get a bit carried away sometimes. I was reading my Big Book of Conspiracy Theories last night, and after you've read 50 or so daft ideas that are endlessly recycled, you end up starting every question with "why not" and every statement with "it's a little known fact."
Grinling Gibbons is a national treasure and one of our great artists. He raised up beauty to the glory of God, and at very reasonable rates. He did not burn down London. Or, at least, we can't prove it.

Today the Beaker People would have been celebrating Grinling's life by creating their own masterpieces in wood. But they've all failed their "chisel safety" inductions, so instead they'll be inspecting the grain in nice pieces of wood. Less chance of losing a finger, that way.

4 comments :

  1. Methinks Zara Philips is experimenting with Grinning Gibbons - or rather Grinning Gorillas.

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  2. Talented bloke, interesting to read that his direct descendants are still in the wood carving business today. I guess once you start to cut that groove its something that becomes ingrained...

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  3. They're all chips off the old block, Steve.

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  4. Why do they put wine in oak barrels? Surely wine makers know you can't mix (wood) grain and grape.

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