Saturday 24 September 2011

Fire from on High

We had a bit of a shock in the middle of the night. Hearing an almighty crash we assumed it was the satellite crashing into the courtyard. However rushing outside, we discovered it was just Young Keith coming back from the pub and walking into the dustbins. Hnaef, who was meant to be with him, got back about ten minutes later. He was swearing blind that a "mystic river" had risen up and surrounded him as he walked up the drive. But we retraced his steps and it turned out he'd just lost his way and fallen in the brook, same as normal.

But I'm still seething over NASA's nonchalant attitude to the whole thing.  One of their tweets last night was "everybody OK out there?", along with a reminder that any of their junk that landed in our back gardens was still their property - in direct contradiction of the International Convention on Finders-Keepers. Another tweet reassured Americans that at least they were safe, with any damage likely to occur safely in Canada. While they have now confirmed that UARS has definitely landed. They just don't know when. Or where.

You know, it strikes me that if someone walked around NASA headquarters, throwing ball-bearings at high speed randomly into offices, while shouting "good luck" - and reassuring their victims that no Canadians were likely to be hurt - the Americans might regard this as a crime.  But when NASA does this on a worldwide scale, it's just one of those things. You know - progress. And don't worry, the chances of this particular bit of junk killing anyone was only about one in 3,000.  So that's all right. And I'd like to reassure everyone that when Young Keith gets over his hangover, and starts firing old fridges over the Ridgmont Road with his newly-developed trebuchet this afternoon, the chances of him actually hitting anyone are really very small.

3 comments :

  1. Lady Common-Tayter4:54 pm, September 24, 2011

    So, with a population of 31.6 million and those odds, are we to assume that the death toll in Canada was in the region of 10,500? Does that constitute an act of war? Whose side will we be on? Oh yes, Canada is ours, isn't it? So we are on their side against the US. Better tell Young Keith to hold on to those fridges until he sees the whites of American eyes.

    Will that make ownership of an iPad an act of treason?

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  2. Lady C-T, I suspect you're just Lady Pugh-Fodder under a pseudonymn. No good will come of these kind of activities.

    Your suggestion that NASA has accidentally killed 10 thousand Canadians shows just how silly the way NASA gave their original estimate was. They might as well just have said "We've now got a 6 ton lump of scrap metal falling out the sky. Still - fingers crossed, eh? God bless America."

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  3. I am outraged that you think I could be in any way connected to any individual who has the word "common" in her name. How very dare you!

    And what kind of person would feel the need to use a pseudonym, for heaven's sake? Eh?

    ReplyDelete

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