Saturday 19 May 2012

Reality Check

Young Keith really very grumpy with me today.

He claims I'm unduly biased against Charlii, the Trainee Druid, with whom he is an "item". Not at all. I think Charlii is a diligent, hard-working trainee. She does suffer from rashes from time to time, but I can't blame her for that and it makes her in no way less of a decent human being. Not least because they're probably allergic reactions to the squirrel costume she has to wear as part of her responsibilities in children's work.

I tried to explain to Keith - he's a good lad - a promising young man. He's got a comfortable house, living with his uncle Ben Connolly, the Police Officer. And he has the potential for a good life. But if he marries a Beaker Druid, there's going to be hard times. Charlii's not going to progress too far if she stays here - or at least she will over my dead body - so she'll be moving to pastures new. And constantly having to be an outsider in your own community, being the bluff host when it's the other half who's the boss - it's not easy. Your house isn't your own - well, mine isn't. But then, on the bright side, I do rent it out to the Community at a very lucrative rate. And then I'm afraid that, in these still-discriminatory times, there's still that implied question - if you're the husband of the Druid, then what's the matter with you? Who wears the pointy hat in your house?

Young Keith has suggested I'm getting a bit ahead of things here, and maybe he's right. I just wouldn't want anyone to get hurt. Young Keith's a lively, intelligent lad. I really wouldn't want him to be in a situation where he can't let off giant fireworks, fall head-first into a ditch while tipsy or or accidentally burn down the local Doily Shed while carrying out an experiment into hydrogen fusion, just because it might embarrass his wife.

3 comments :

  1. I'd be careful with that "over my dead body" line, if I were you. Don't give Young Keith ideas. I'm sure, if he gets grumpy enough, he can find a way to contrive an unfortunate accident involving yourself. Charlii could then conduct a decent burial service inside the Moot House. Then the only way for the community to recover might well be for her to preside over the community from quite literally over your dead body.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I had posted before that promotion through "accident" is a time-honored tradition throughout history. Tempting fate is not recommended.

      Delete
  2. Young Keith might consider hemlock rather than violence. And since the Beaker folk are really into nature, what would it be but an innocent mistake?

    Keith, are you reading this?

    ReplyDelete

Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl