Sunday, 22 July 2012

Walking on the Moon

Thanks to Gurdur for putting me onto the Californian fire-walking event where many delegates ended up with burns. It's this kind of mimsy conference attendee - liable to all sorts of injuries and mishaps - that has caused us sometimes to refer to "conference delicates".

And I know some will rake up our own minor disaster with the "walking on water" event we held. And yes, we do hold the English record for the furthest inland point to call out the lifeboat. And I know the Health & Safety Executive pointed the finger at me. But how was I to know the delicates had so little faith? And, when all's said and done, it's not like it's that far across the duck-pond.

So these days we avoid doing anything that would seriously test what our doctrine teaches, or what our conference delicates believe. It's un-testable, and therefore infallable. From now on, we're walking on sunshine. Oh yeah. And don't it feel good?


  1. To walk on water, one would have to negate the Higgs field, producing an incredible lightness of being, which in turn would result in one being blown away - both metaphorically and physically.

    1. Or a miracle. Or magic. Or soap on the soles of your shoes, perhaps.

  2. I just wonder if we really want to walk on either water or fire?

    Both seem feats (forgive the pun) of faith, that require cast iron feet and featherlike weight and webbed toes at the least.

    So, in the interests of health and safety, I've decided that I'll remain a land lubber, particularly as I don't meet the physical specification for either role.

    However, I understand that an Electric Chair is available to hire to test out people's resistance for execution - it works on the principle that if someone sits in it with the current turned on, their hair will stand on end at the least and they will expire at the highest current.

    It seems that running a book on how much current people can stand before expiring is the new sport of the chattering classes in Islington.

    I was considering hiring one to try out on politicians, with the maximum current applied from the outset.


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