Thursday, 2 August 2012

A Marathon, not a Sprint

Strange girl, that Lucia. Though a good judge of character. She appeared again today saying that Drayton Parslow's holiday club is "written by a wally, to be run by wallies, for wallies."

And you can't say fairer than that.

It was Marathon day today. So we were stressing that the life of faith is a marathon (albeit a gentle marathon through easy, rolling countryside) and not a sprint. Then we had a great time teaching the action song, "All Have Won, and all Will Have Prizes".

It was Lucia who said, "so what are you saying? What is the moral of this song?"

I explained we meant that, in the boundless love of God, all will be welcomed into Heaven.

"What, everyone?" she asked.

"Yes, everyone."

"Even atheists?"

"Atheists, Lucia, have enough to deal with in lacking friends, suffering from bad breath, and  suffering meaningless lives."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Not really - some of them can construct their own meaning from shared humanity, life experience and a sense of duty, right and wrong. But I do believe God will still let them into heaven on the basis that he loves them."

"Will they still have bad breath and lack friends in Heaven?"

"In Heaven, mouthwash and very tolerant friends will be provided. Don't forget how very silly they're going to be feeling."

"And it doesn't matter how you behave - you'll still get there?"

"Morality is all relative. How we act can depend on our circumstances - our upbringing, our health."

"So you're saying we're all unaccountable robots?"

"Of course not. I'm saying we have to make allowances. So there may be a right and wrong - and if you're not liberal you may very well have intolerable and unallowable views and behaviour - but all will be forgiven."

"So even people who don't believe in Jesus will got to heaven?"

"Of course. I believe everyone finds their own Jesus."

"What about Hitler then? Did he find his own Jesus?"

"You had to go straight for the Godwin, didn't you?"

"Quoting Godwin's Law to shut down discussion is just the sort of thing that Hitler did. Come on, Archdruid - will God let people like Hitler into Heaven or not?"

"Oh gosh, is that the time? It must be time for squash and biscuits...."


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Sorry, I was going to be sympathetic, but I realised that stretching the Arch Druid seems a good idea.

    Particularly as safe guarding rules prevents the use of Cricket Bats, Hockey Sticks or steel toe capped boots :)

  3. What you need is a Parenting Course to teach the parents to raise children who take 'Because I said so!!!' as a perfectly acceptable answer to any question.

  4. I hope this heaven of yours has air-con, my anorak gets pretty stinky if I sweat too much ;)


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