I was glad when they said unto me, "Let us go unto Milton Keynes",
And now here we are in thy aisles, oh Ikea.
The Lord is my shopkeeper.
I shall Lack Kvarnvik.
Oh Lord, how many are my Forså
How Mandel rise up against me.
All day long they call unto me
saying "Where is now the exit?"
For thy corridors are eternal
The floors of this building go on forever.
Balding men are crying out, "free us from this chain -
from the hordes of strangely-named furniture deliver us.
"For we remember how we left the babes and sucklings in the ball pit
Thinking we would be back in a short time, and have a cup of coffee
"And yet now we walk through the valley of the shadow of Jeff
and I'm feeling a bit ill."
Surely Iris and Laundry will be with me all the days of my life
And I shall be stuck in this enormous shop forever.