Now, don't get me wrong. I'm as prepared to recognise changing social ethics, and embrace them as my own, as the next Archdruid. But today's handfasting was really hard work.
In the old days, there just used to be "Groom's Side" or "Bride's Side". But in this modern world, we had "Groom's side", "Bride's side", "Groom's ex-wife who still claims to be a friend's side", "Bride's ex-husband who kids himself he's over it all now's side" (right at the back - definitely safest). Then there was "friends of the Bride's ex-husband and the Groom's ex-wife, who are possibly thinking of getting together themselves", and "scarlet hussy who broke up the bride's last marriage by vamping round her now ex-husband's side".
The "Groom's 'friend' from a phase when he wasn't so sure of his nature as he is today" side was necessary, as well. Just the four of them, but they did a lovely "YMCA". And if you think that was inappropriate, at least it wasn't as bad as the suggestion that just the one of them could sing "Don't leave me this way". While the groom's long-term girlfriend from after his first wedding had to be talked out of her own solo - she was suggesting "It could've been me."
Finally, in a rejection of sexist tradition and patriarchal society, the Groom was given away by the bride's sister - we're not at all sure about the significance of that, and I wasn't going to ask. While the Bride had a "Best man", whom she selected from a parade of her former boyfriends. The Bride's Father, meanwhile, is an "item" with the Groom's Mother - and, since that incident with the discovery of the size-11 slingbacks, so is the Bride's Step-father with the Groom's Gran.
So all in all an open-minded, free-spirited, joyous celebration of the generosity of modern life. I'll give them six months.