Saturday, 25 August 2012

The Joy of Subs

I'm sorry, I did lose it a bit in the Ministry Room before this morning's Pouring out of Beakers. It was all the substitution of roles that did my head.

So Gneiss was meant to be Boutrosifer but couldn't be because she's at Greenbelt. Dorrix took over her role. Which meant that Oris had to sub in as Beaker-carrier. But Orris was left-hand acolyte. Grenville had agreed to be stand-in acolyte for Orris, but the other acolyte had phoned in a bit sniffly. And while Kenton was happy to be an acolyte, he made it quite clear that he can only do the right-hand acolyte role. But Grenville isn't happy playing on the left either, so Cherrie stepped up to left acolyte while Grenville dropped back to play in the "hole".

I'd just got that sorted when Hnaef came in to tell me while at the front were the singers, after them the musicians - the girls with the tambourines had swapped to be welcomers, and could I suggest any stand-in percussionists?

So some might think that smashing the beakers, sweeping all the tea lights off the table, chasing the Worship Focus out of the Moot House (anyone know why that badger was the Worship Focus anyway?) and then driving the Beaker Folk out of the Moot House with a hoe was the sign of a slight over-reaction. But I shall maintain that I was provoked.


  1. Sounds like an average Sunday in our Parish.

    Do you know that while chalices bounce, their shape alters to reflect the landing. We must have the only Octagonal Chalice in the Church.

    Candle sticks also look a little wonky, with kinks and slight bends in them. We tell everyone that they are Art Nouveau and were donated by Virginia Woolf.

    Mostly these events happen after the late night games night at the Red Lion. The Vicar getting beat in the quiz, at billiards and even carpet bowls. The thing that stings is that it's our lovely female curate who wins all of the time.

    The stocks of grouse whisky take a hammering and so does the Vicar's head the following morning.

    We tried changing games nights to Mondays, but get the same results on Tuesday mid-week communion.

    Not sure of the solution - when I suggested anger management classes, I woke up in A&E and to this day, believe that the bolt of lightning that hit me was a warning from God not to toy with the Clergy, even light heartedly.

  2. When I was churchwarden, substitutionism was an integral part of my belief system.

    We elect new churchwardens every three years; leave it any longer and they start gibbering and twitching.


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