Tuesday, 9 October 2012

That All-Purpose Tory Party Speech

"I hereby pledge that this Conservative party will:

  • allow home-owners to defend themselves against burglars
  • deport foreign criminals as quickly as they have recovered from being attacked by home-owners
  • allow victims of crime a say in the perpetrators' punishments. Within reason - obviously we don't want people being broken on the wheel, or flayed alive. Or let off.
  • reduce the red tape on business
  • give people a choice over which schools their children go to - especially if they pay for it
  • restrict the power of Europe over the way we do things in Britain
  • crack down on late-night public disorder
  • crack down on people who pretend to be disabled to claim benefits
  • crack down on people who pretend not to have jobs to claim benefits
  • crack down on people who live on the streets to pretend they're homeless to claim benefits
  • reduce the deficit.

"And I further promise that next year, when we have done none of these, we will promise to do exactly the same things. That is what being Conservative means - we stick by our promises."

1 comment :

  1. Conservatives is a stupid name for a political party that is nearly as Red as Trotsky.

    Bring back the hanging, flogging, torturing conservatives of my youth.....

    Oh, we have done, disguised by that notorious turncoat Nick Clegg.


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