Saturday, 10 November 2012

Confirmation Bias

Life has come to such a state of suspicion and Health and Safety obsession. The Witch Scare this morning was absolutely the last straw.

So I've decided from now on, people have to carry with them at all times proof that they are entitled and safe to carry out their alloted roles.

To this effect, tomorrow's Procession will be as follows (as well as the proof that when you prick them they bleed, and they are therefore definitely not witches:

SUNDAY CLUB LEADERS - bearing CRB certificates

TEA LIGHT BEARERS - carrying fire safety certificates as well as tea lights

BOUTROSIFERS - carrying Manual Handling certificates as well as pebbles

BAPTISTS - bearing 25m Swimming certificates

COMMUNITY NURSE - bearing First Aid certificate

JAMES BOND - carrying Licence to Kill

SEA SCOUTS - carrying certificates of seaworthiness

ORGANIST - with Grade 5 Piano certificate

CHOIR - with noise abatement order

TREASURER - carrying Certified Accountancy certificate

THURIFER - carrying certificate of gas-mask training and an inhaler

ARCHDRUID - carrying Degree in Theology from the "Higher Plains" On-line University of the Interweb.

1 comment :

  1. What certificates do your Bell Ringers carry?

    ReplyDelete

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