Friday, 30 November 2012

Those new Politically-correct Council Names for Christmas

This is about getting in before the Daily Mail comes up with something less plausible. If councils were really scared of mentioning Christmas, what could we end up with?

"Twinterval" - celebrating the end-of-year occasion through the magic of Social Media.

"Yule-Kip" - a midwinter festival without upsetting the European Union!

"Bodmas" - forget the religious connotations, enjoy a mathematical spectacular. OR, celebrate Advent by remembering, "Here comes Bod".

"Celebritytide" - remember Celebritytide past, when you believed in Kerry? Or rush down to Iceland and get your buzz by eating frozen pancakes while listening to Stacey Solomon.

"The Season to be Dolly" - forget all that religious stuff. Celebrate an authentically remarkable birth through the power of genetic science.

 "Putting the Decs up" - after this Sunday, there won't be much use for Ant's mate. So why not wrap him in tinsel and stick him over the porch? A guaranteed smile for all your visitors.

"UK Gold Christmas Spectacular" - celebrate the run-up to Christmas by watching an episode of "Last of the Summer Wine" every day! Just like the rest of the year.

"The Season of Season's Greetings" - Enjoy the time around 25 December by eating, drinking, being merry, having a week off but never, never, never mentioning the word "*****mas". I nearly said it, but I think I got away with it.

"Stephen Fry-tag" - on the Fridays in December, give thanks that Stephen came to show us the power of Google.

"Frostmas" - enjoy the season while campaigning against Global Warming!

"Little Drunk-y" - the oldest of all British Yule traditions! 

"Panto-time" - remembering that, when the days are darkest, Christopher Biggins appears every year to entertain us.

"Badvent" - why not welcome the end of autumn by getting your central heating unblocked?

1 comment :

  1. I wouldn't mind putting the Decs up, and his mate Ant. Nailed to a large cruciform bit of wood.


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