Saturday, 15 December 2012

It's the End of the World as We Know It Yet Again

And so, as 21-12-12 (or, for Americans, 12-21-12) appears on the horizon, the countdown starts.

The Cleveland Leader tells us that panic-buying is spreading across the globe. It's true there's little in Husborne Crawley, but then we don't actually have a shop, so that's not surprising. Young Keith is down the White Horse drinking beer like it's going to run out, but then that just means it's Saturday. Or any other day when the day ends in "y".

Why? What's the point of panic buying? What could one purchase that would get one through the end of the world?

Except, of course, one thing.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matt. 6:19-21

So there you go. Thermos flasks; salt (salt? When is salt going to be the one thing that your survival depends on?); rifles, no doubt, in some parts of the US; torches and kerosene. Not one of these would survive the end of the world. No aliens are going to appear at the "alien garage" in the Pyrenees. Either we're all going to wake up on 22 December with everything as it was, or else none of us are going to be here. Either way, you'll be wasting your time buying Thermos flasks.

As I've said before, don't buy your prophecies from Mayans. If Mayans knew the first thing about the future, they wouldn't have worried about the end of the world. They'd have seen Spaniards coming, with Bibles in one hand and guns in the other, and ran for the hills. They didn't. Live every day as if it's going to be your last - not laying in bed, half-conscious and retching, but making the most of every moment. And now I'm off to kick Burton Dasset. I know what I'd do if I knew when my last day was.


  1. Actually I thought the Mayans did run for the hills. Their cities and temples were deserted when the Spanish arrived, but the people are alive and well and living in the hills or the jungle. Wikipedia confirms that "Much of the contemporary rural population of the Yucatán Peninsula, Chiapas (both in Mexico), Guatemala and Belize is Maya by descent and primary language."

    1. Thanks for letting us all know we're doomed, Peter.

      Don't suppose you could sell me some salt and a Thermos?

    2. Sorry, I have already arrived in the hills of America. I assume the Mayans know the best place to hide from their apocalypse.


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