Monday, 3 December 2012

The Devil Reads the Daily Mail

Shock and horror from the Daily Mail.

Turns out that a female member of the clergy is young and attractive.

I mean, how the heck did that happen? I'm pretty sure that, when the Church of England passed the vote for the ordination of women back in the 90s, the three concessions were as follows:

(a) Parishes would be allowed to opt out of women, and have flying bishops
(b) Any female clergy would have to look like they graduated from Girton** in the thirties
(c) To double the chances of them being frumpy, any female clergy would have to dress in paisley clerical shirts and flat heels*.

Nobody at the time mentioned the possibility of a Sally Hitchiner. If they had, there's no way the vote would have been passed. After all, one of the reasons that are raised against female clergy from time to time is that men, being weak and stupid, would be liable to fall in love with attractive female vicars. Because, obviously, that's never happened the other way round. Or even between those of the same chromosomal arrangement. So how dare Sally Hitchiner look sexy? That's not her job - she's supposed to make people long for heaven, by making this earthly realm appear mundane. Not be more attractive than the Z-list celebrities with which the Mail adorns the side bar of its website.

I think, at the end of the day, the following question from the Mail is the most important one:

"After all, would a ‘traditionalist’ wear Louboutin leopard print heels?

To which the only answer I can find is, "only on his day off."


*Not that there's anything wrong with female clergy in paisley shirts and flat heels, I hasten to add.
** Or those that graduated from Girton in the 30s.

10 comments :

  1. I'm glad you qualified that (Girton 1966)

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    Replies
    1. So am I (Girton 1980). But I've never worn a paisley clerical shirt.

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    2. ...and, of course, many Girton graduates are blokes these days. But don't get me started on the theological implications of that...

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    3. Had I known every one of my readers went to Girton, I'd have picked an Oxford college instead. Although, obviously, Oxford people have better dress sense.

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  2. Hormones and Louboutin, the diet of kings, and princesses..

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    Replies
    1. Ah, Hormoens & Louboutin, the old Biophysics Book retailer's in Oxford. I remember it well.

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  3. The Holy Father was there first - doesn't he wear Prada (or was it Gucci?)?

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  4. But he didn't go to Girton.

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  5. 1. It's the devil who wears Prada, apparently

    2. Girton was all girlies when the Pope was a lad, although that didn't stop the odd bloke climbing in through the first-floor toilets from the bicycle shed roof

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    Replies
    1. That'd be why everyone needs flat shoes.

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