So I've just had to go down to the kitchen to help Young Keith out. He said that, for our first Mothering Sunday as a "proper" family he would cook Charlii and me roast beef.
So I caught him attempting to brown off the meat before roasting it. He's fried it too much, in butter, having cut the joint into small pieces.
I've told him all the things he's done there.
In fact, you could say it was a searing indictment.
Well, you have to laugh. Or else you'd realise the futility of it all.