Look, I'm not saying that men should keep completely quiet. Who would be without their charming prattle about the 4-4-2 system? And their odd belief, in discussions between themselves, that much younger women might consider them to be attractive is quite humorous in its surreal self-delusion. But on matters of doctrine, you've got to be more careful. After all, while women are creative and productive of life, men are associated with destruction - natural, with all that testosterone and those Y-chromosomes. So it's pretty obvious who really needs to keep things under control round here.
So these are the new rules:
- No man is to give an opinion on anything except football or real ale, if there are any women present.
- Actually, no man is to give an opinion on real ale if there are women present. They may know what they're talking about, but it's a very, very dull subject.
- Men may teach other men about spiritual matters. They'll probably get it wrong, but at least if it's only with other blokes they'll not do too much harm. If there's a woman around, it would be best that she either doesn't listen, or ideally takes over.
- Men may not fill up beakers, but they may pour them out. You've got to have a system, haven't you?
- Any man suggesting a course of action will be advised to have a sit and a calm down while the wiser gender work out precisely what is wrong with it.
- Hnaef is allowed to carry out his duties as Executive Arch-Assistant Druid, as he's very posh, so people don't take him so seriously.
- The Archruid's decision is final. No correspondence will be entered into.