Saturday, 20 July 2013

A New Holy Well

I'd got a bit bored with the Holy Well.

It's in a dull place - down by the hedge. It's not near the Moot House, so we all have to wander across the Big Meadow to get there. There's no flowers near by, except in June when there's May blossom (get the irony there). It's generally, as Holy Wells go, a bit of a disappointment.

I understand the primal call of a Holy Well. The sight of water, the source of life, the solvent in which we are all born, the thing that makes Earth mostly Sea, springing from the rock. Marvelous, innit? We think Moses, we think that old hymn Eileen likes, we think all sorts of wonders. Then we think, it's a long way from the Moot House and the water doesn't spring from a rock, it oozes out of a load of moss and slime and mud.

So we've installed a new Holy Well. Conveniently, it's right next to the Moot House, and the water flows from the Holy Well into the Moot House, and off through the River of Life under the floor and then out and down to the Husbourne brook. Obviously, having the Holy Well halfway up the hill like this is a problem. It's way above the springline. And so we've cheated a bit, and plumbed it in.

I know some purists might complain, but look at it this way - the water coming out of the Holy Well is chlorinated to a Water Board standard of hygiene. It tumbles down from the Foliate Head / Gargoyle type thing we've cemented into the wall, down into a bowl of finest marble-effect tiles. Beaker People stooping to drink from the new Holy Well won't be suffering from typhoid, dysentery or any of the other issues we used to have with the real one. Especially the cholera. The cholera was bad. We can switch the water supply off at night, as well, so it doesn't get too annoying.

And so tomorrow we have the first Holy Well-dressing with the new well. We'll have to find something to do with the old well. Maybe we could throw some old bedsteads in it? That seems to be popular.


  1. I hope that you've disabled your water meter, because if not, your bill will skyrocket.

    And, don't you think that it's a waste of resources? Because you could have re-routed it through the accommodation water supply for showers and WC's and recycled it around the circuit until it resembled the water oozing from the mud of the real holy well - people would feel right at home.

  2. Yes I get the Oxbridge irony.
    And the uncanny resemblance of your design to my title parish (though we used bromine and ozone as our purification agents - I was always worried when the boss used to pour this water on babies heads). Surely you can fully immerse something (or someone) in your new facility?


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