Sunday, 21 July 2013


We were impressed by the lovely Labyrinth design created by @DrBattyTowers. We like a labyrinth, do we Beaker Folk. Iit's a nice afternoon, and everybody had lost interest in the spanking of the Aussies, so we were in need of a spiritual exercise.

Thankfully, we have a 3D printer for producing labyrinths. All you do is scan in the floor plan, set the height, press a few buttons and waste a load of the earth's resources and, five minutes later, you have a gently cooling labyrinth in the middle of the lawn. We've nine or ten of them now. We really must work out what to do with them. We reckoned Dr Batty's was a good one, though, so we set the walls to 8 feet high, knocked it out fairly fast, gave it a few minutes to cool and then everyone piled in.

It was only when we got to the centre that we realised the fatal flaw. There is no way out. Obviously, you can just turn round and walk back the way you came, but that's not how Beaker People do Labyrinths. We like a way in and a way out. We believe in the old saying that you can only step in a river once.

So what do we end up with? All the Beaker Folk, compressed into one corner, screaming with claustrophobia. We shouted at Burton to give us the floor plan, so we could work out the best way out. But instead of letting me have it, he fell into a reverie as to how much the plan reminded him of the logo of Learning Tree International, and what happened to that mug he swears they should have sent him.

The moral of the story is obvious, and much-fabled in Beaker song down th anges. Never enter a labyrinth without a pick axe. Thankfully that was exactly what we'd brought - it is part of the necessary equipment, along with a ladder, emergency flares and emergency flairs - and we were out within ten minutes, the young and feeble crying and fainting around us.

Next time, we're going to check the plans more rigorously.

No comments :

Post a Comment

Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl