I'm pleased to announce the results of the election for Acting Archdruid. Obviously I regard this as a totally unnecessary and costly way of conducting democracy, when everybody just doing what I say would have been cheaper and more efficient, and also just as reliable. However, the Beaker Book of Rules says the election has to be held one month after the temporary appointment of an Acting Archdruid. It is important for the Beaker People to confirm the divinely-inspired executive decision of the Actual Archdruid.
Still, I'm relieved that I've been elected with 130% of the popular vote. This may look suspicious, but I can assure you that the greater than 100% majority is simply a mathematical thing you won't understand.
I'd like to congratulate my gallant opponent, Wulfsbane, for a bravely-fought if not actually suicidal campaign. And I'm sure Wulfsbane will be looking forward to working in a supportive way within the Beaker Community, just as soon as I've allowed him and his followers out of the Doily Shed. From the plaintive cries we've heard, I gather it's been a bit warm in there this week.