Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Nativity of PG Wodehouse

Charlii: What ho!

All: Rather!

Hymn: Hordes of Midian swarm around


All: We have done some rather rummy things we ought not to have done
And done some quite remarkable things we really wish we hadn't done.
We have bet on choirboys' bicycle races
And on egg and spoon races.
And on the length of sermons.
We have stolen Aberdeen terriers
And silver cow - creamers
And policemen's helmets.
We have rung burglar alarms in the middle of the night
And offended French chefs
And we have not honoured our Aunts.
We have pretended chorus girls were American heiresses
And coveted our neighbours' spats.
We have worn hideous clothing
And danced like mating newts.
We have drunk one too many cocktails, one too many times
And there is no health in us.

Assurance that we're all jolly good chaps and young things

Charlii: You're all jolly good chaps and young things.

All: Rather!

Scripture reading: The Kings of Israel and Judah (which Bertie will read from the list written on his arm)

Fresh Expression: The liturgy of the bread-roll fight

Final Blessing

Charlii : Tinkerty-tonk!

All: Did you mean that to sting?


  1. In the deepest and truest sense I am delighted that you are observing the memorial of Sir Pelham, and offer you my cordial oecumenical greetings. Might I be permitted to point out that as we are in Year C, the correct reading is Jael the wife of Heber? One does so feel that these little things matter.

  2. The allegation that a list was ever written on Bertie's arm is, of course, hotly disputed! (We scripture-knowledge sharks stick together!)

    1. A certain Mr G Fink-Nottle insists that Bertie frankly cheated. He made some other allegations about a young man from Market Snodsbury School that are better not repeated for legal reasons.

  3. Mr Fink-Nottle's being such a heavy user of Orange Juice (not to mention Newts) renders his credibility as a witness risible.

  4. I was really looking forward to hearing your sermon on Brotherly Love.


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