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Saturday, 30 November 2013

The John Lewis Xmas Ad Actors - Where have you Gone?

The Bear - found that sleeping for six months of the year does nothing for your lasting popularity. By the time he woke up, it was all steam-punk koalas. A six-month marriage to Ulrika Jonsson broke down due to his honey obsession. A faded, drunken has-been, he was reduced to starring in 3rd-rate sitcoms, and playing walk-on parts as "large carnivore sitting at the far table" in Eastenders.

The Badgers - Announced the stress of sudden fame had got to them, and moved to Somerset. Not generally regarded as a great career move.

The Hare - Bolstered an initially promising stand-up career with a succession of appearances on popular news panel games, where she brilliantly undercut her "Mrs Goody-four-paws" image by making vicious remarks about the Duchess of Cambridge. Now mostly to be found on Dave.

The Fox Cubs - Displaced Jedward as the "endearing but gormless twins" on a number of reality TV shows. Realising they were not getting the kind of serious TV parts they had hoped for, "Reynard"  went on to feature on "Strictly Come Dancing" as the long-running novelty act, "Bruce's Syrup". The other formed a "John Lewis Tribute Band", playing back-numbers from John Lewis Xmas adverts. This rather limited repertoire - they could only get gigs in December - led to the band splitting up, and "Foxy" has ended up living out of what he can find in dustbins. Which he reckons is the highlight of his career. He is, after all, a fox.

The Owl - Went on to make a number of successful films starring alongside Daniel Radcliffe. With the end of the "Potter" series, there is talk of bringing back "Owl TV". After four failed marriages, he is currently one of Angelina Jolie's adopted children.

The Deer - After flopping in the remake of Bambi, and a failed career as extras in Santa's grotto, they've got new jobs in the catering industry. As venison steaks.

(if you don't know what this is about - the ad is here) John Lewis on YouTube Xmas  (guessing the in-post ad won't last long)

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