Please can all the Beaker Folk who have dressed up their children as Richard Dawkins please stop? "Trick or Treat" is bad enough. "Trick or I'll stand here for an hour, telling you stories of how i said something dreadfully scathing in 1986" contravenes the Geneva Convention.
Also, the vampires in the spinney are getting grumpy. The one night of the year when somebody should surely take them seriously, and everyone is running scared of small children wearing "Michael Gove" masks. If they go back after half term wearing those, there are going to fireworks next week. Although, thinking about it, even if they don't, there will be fireworks next week. It is, after all, Guy Fawkes.