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Friday, 28 February 2014

If King David Did Thought for the Day

It's a world full of sadness. Every day in the news, we hear of war, bloodshed, promiscuity. Young men resorting to sex, violence and a rock and roll lifestyle.

And that's mostly just me. Oh yeah. Whether it's pinching somebody else's wife, collecting concubines like they're going out of fashion, or indulging in a nice bit of genocide and city-destruction - David's your man. Have sling will travel, I say. Travel and kill loads of people, obviously. And get another wife. And then do a bit more killing. And then maybe have a census. And even that kills people! I tell you, I can't stop - it's just the way I roll.

And naturally, I've been worrying about the situation in the Middle East. And I've come to a conclusion.  It's nothing that a good round of wiping out small tribes and taking over their cities can't sort out. Look at those Philistines, for example. Strutting around like they own the place. And, in a spirit of loving kindness, there's only one way to go. Kill the lot of them. Oh yeah. Drive them into the sea. Let them know who's boss. Oh sure, you can talk about human rights. You can tell us we should respect other people's freedom of worship. You can whitter on about how everybody's got their own path up the Truth Mountain. But there's nothing like chopping down a few Asherah poles. And killing everyone, obviously.

I'm finishing this thought with a little bit of Liturgical Dance. Let's just say it's a shame for you womenfolk that it's radio. Oh yeah. Enough to make the Missus go green. You know that statue Michelangelo did of me? Well, I've got my complaints about just one small detail, but let's just say he got it mostly right. Love the muscle tone, Micky! Oh yes, ladies. Is that a lute in my loincloth or am I just glad to see you?

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