Just been reading Peter Stanford's 10 Commandments to save the Anglican Church. I presume from the context he intends to mean the Anglican Church in what is currently the United Kingdom, as opposed to worldwide which is, numerically, doing pretty well. In fact, I suspect what he really means is the Church of England, but he didn't want to come over as a Little Englander in this most po-faced of liberal newspapers.
Still, it seems to me that it's only right that some believer returns the compliment to the Independent. It has its own new dawns - faffing around with paper sizes, embracing Climate Change as an exciting new way to raise taxation. But the Truth - or diversity of opinion, as the Indie would more likely put it - is that its decline continues unabated.
So having had a ringside seat at the events of the past two decades, and more broadly as a fellow traveller (albeit at one pew removed as a Guardian-reader), who sees so much that is good and needed about our national most boring newspaper as its goes about its daily, non-headline-making headline-making, here are a few suggestions – more 10 conversation-starters than 10 commandments – assembled with the help of absolutely nobody at all.
1. Appoint Richard Coles as editor. Everybody loves Richard. Or at least people who listen to Radio 4 or remember the Communards or read the Independent and/or live in Finedon do.
2. Stop being more boring than the Guardian.
3. Try a different size of paper.
4. Remake the Vicar of Dibley in a newsroom.
5. Start supporting UKIP.
6. No, actually, it's hopeless, isn't it? I'm sorry. I'm never going to make it to 10.