My heart is heavy within me
And my soul fails in its darkness
For the Twipper API is not happy
And my time line refreshest itself not.
I remember how I used to go onto Twitter
To hear the latest news
Unargued political certainties thrown out to the ether
Preaching only to the quire.
How happy we were in those days
When we could play our hash tag games
Laughing as we noticed somebody had already done our joke
And breathing satirical fire when someone redid ours.
We tweeted freely,
Retweeting our enemies as well.
For only the pagans retweet only their friends.
And subtweets we would never cast our eyes upon.
Even in the watches of the night
But we wasted our nights discussing Question Time.
We threw away hours on #strictly
And now our judgement is upon us.
Where now can we go?
Forelorn we roam the wilderness of Facebook; but the people we call friends are playing stupid games.
We turn to LinkedIn
But who cares what 75% of CIOs think about iOS 7.1?
And there's naff all on telly.
Not even Question Time.
I may even have to find out if my closest friends, those I love like a brother or a sister,
are still alive.
And so we will surf the Web in the valley of the shadow of death
All the days of our life.
Oh, hang on.