Friday, 16 May 2014

Digging Audrey Holes

The original Beaker Folk are renowned for their "Ritual Holes". Something which Frances Pryor in particular has noticed - the habit of ritually digging a hole, and then filling it in again.

The most famous of which holes are the Aubrey Holes at Stonehenge. 56 holes that were dug, and then filled in again. Suggestions as to what they were for are legion. Something to do with human fertility? A calculator for the Metonic Calender? Personally, I reckon it was a very early attempt to calculate the Ultimate Question to the Answer of Life, the Universe and Everything. 7 x 8 = 42.

Here in Husborne Crawley, we tend to prefer the "Audrey Holes". These are ritual in nature, as well. Basically, whenever Audrey comes up with a new ritual, some people dig a hole and hide in it until it goes away. This can include anything involving sin-shredders, cairns, ritual sowing of runner beans or - especially - clowns.

Yes, I know that we're "fools for Christ". But why this involved introducing eight of the most frightening things known to humanity to this morning's Little Pebbles Creative Worship is beyond me. I've never seen such small people dig such large holes so fast, driven by fearful memories of the Northampton Clown.

We had to disperse the clowns with water cannon in the end. Harsh, I know. But still better than locking them up in the Beaker Oubliette, with the Morris Men we captured on May Morning.

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