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Sunday, 29 June 2014

Jesus - "Elton John is Wrong"

In a wide-ranging interview,  Jesus Christ has said that he believes Elton John to be fundamentally misguided.

"Saturday Night is not all right for fighting," said the "Son of Man" from  the Book of Daniel, "it's for quiet prayerful meditation up to sunset, and after that, when the Sabbath is over, it's OK to cook something to eat. And don't let the Pharisees tell you that you can't heal people. You can do that if you like. But if you go out as well-oiled as a diesel train, and get into fights - that's not a good idea. You should turn the other cheek, and love your neighbour."

Asked whether he thought gay marriage was right, Jesus replied "Gay marriage is not even a thing in the 1st Century. I can't possibly answer that question - I'm a Roman Empire-era Jew. Nobody's ever thought of it. You can't just drag me into 21st century issues and act like you know what I think. Take the responsibility. Weigh the evidence. Make your own mind up. But don't drag my alleged views into it."  Asked whether he thought Pope Francis would take a more liberal view on sexuality, he pointedly asked whether Francis is a Catholic.

Jesus refused, however, to be drawn on whether Elton John had faded as a creative act from the mid-80s, reflecting a trajectory that had already gone from pub rock to ballads. "I'm a prophet and religious leader. What do I know about 20th Century music? You might as well ask a rock musician to talk about theology."

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