My dear friends, I am disturbed in faith and certainty. Indeed, it would be better if the sisters in my readership (and by this I refer merely to those sisters in the faith, and not to any metaphor that some of you may be imagining) went off to do something more feminine. Make tea for their husbands, brothers or parents perhaps. For I am disturbed unto the heart of my belief in the proper place of menfolk in the economy of the domestic household.
It was this piece on "Feminism's affect on the Family" that was the chink of soil in which the seed of doubt grew even unto an mighty triffid. I read it, thinking that it was a godly and wholesome piece of advice on the right ordering of godly homes. But now, I am uncertain. Was this piece written by the so-called "Archdruid" next door to make my heart unsteady within me? Or is it the worthy piece I thought, and it is my heart that has twisted within me?
For example: "Rather than featuring her femininity, she is treated as a unisex object." After 30 years of marriage, I would not dare to treat my Marjorie as anything else, to be honest. Not, dear brothers (I hope our sisters are no longer reading) since she told me that these days she prefers cocoa. She had a fierce look in her eye at the time.
"Aggressiveness -- men pick more quarrels, seem more combative, are sexually the perpetrators of rape, and so on." - I am not doubting the holiness of the author's intent, but - am I wrong - or would this suggest that men are better off staying at home, out of harm's way - ideally locked in - while women are allowed out into the world of work where, being less likely to get all aggressive, society will be a nicer place?
Or consider - "Physical capacity all the feminist rhetoric in the world will not alter the fact that men have stronger upper bodies than women and can usually run and swim faster." - this may be the deepest heresy of all that I am likely to fall into, brothers, I can hardly write these words. But I had to think - if men have stronger upper bodies, and can run and swim faster - these are not traits that are useful for an office-bound life, or indeed for being a pastor. Except when I have severely upset a group to whom I have been evangelizing in an outdoor situation, I have never needed to run faster than anyone else. And stronger upper bodies, it seems to me, are more suitable for holding children, hoovering floors or cleaning ovens - rather than being a middle-manager or a Baptist minister, for which a woman's body seems intrinsically more suitable. Indeed, in the one area where being a good swimmer might be more useful - adult baptism - this is outweighed in its frequency by the possibility of picking the children up from school and taking them swimming. Clearly, a man is better-equipped to save his children in a sudden swimming-pool-based crisis than a woman. Maybe the woman should be out trading futures, whatever they are, rather than looking after the children?
However, in the depths of my despair I have found some relief. Consider these words from Mr LaHaye regarding the time available to women: "A single woman can afford to spend 52 of those hours outside the home, but a wife and mother is sorely pressed to sacrifice that many hours to her home responsibilities." - that is right, my brothers and any sisters who may have snuck back to see where this is going! A woman cannot go out to work because she does not have enough time in her life to do a job and look after her family and husband. Whereas a man - well, there is a solution. And I saw the solution on Saturday night. It turns out that, under certain circumstances, a man can make more time in his life by using a blue box to go back in time and thus have time for a work-life balance. I have not yet done this myself, but I aspire to finding out the secrets of "The Doctor" in terms of achieving enough time to balance my life. My readers will notice that "The Doctor" is always a man.
Yes, it is true. A man should go out to work and his wife should stay at home and look after the children. Because only men can time-travel.