Beaker Folk assemble in the Upgrade Room, having - once again - been conned into wearing Bluetooth earpieces
Archdruid: Once again, my plan to take over the world using emotionless, robotic life-forms in the shape of humanity comes to fruition!
All: No! You don't mean....
Archdruid: Yes! I'm converting you all into railway station announcers
All: But they're all computerised and automatic aren't they?
Archdruid: That's what I wanted you to think! In fact there is, trapped in every station on the St Pancras line, a cyber person whose job is to delay the trains and make announcements. They feast on the psychic misery they cause.
All: Aaaargh! This isn't what we meant by Cyber-Monday! Can't we just go and buy something? And this isn't a liturgy: it's just a script!
Archdruid: OK. Go and shop in peace. We can upgrade you on Tuesday.
All: And also with you.