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Thursday, 26 March 2015

That New-Look Top Gear


Fr Ted: So now, Fr Dougal - how was the milk float?

Fr D: Well, you know, Ted,  I wouldn't want to claim to be like that Einstein feller. But the milk float was great. Handled well, good visibility. The only slight problem was its tendency to explode if you went under two miles an hour.

Fr T: Next week we'll be hearing from Fr Clarke and Fr Beeching, our "Priests on a moderately-priced mobile altar." But here's what happened when Mrs Doyle and I test drove Bishop Len's car while he was being chased around the island by rabbits.

CUT TO VIDEO

Mrs Doyle: So I've filled the car up with diesel.....

Fr T: Mrs Doyle, this is a petrol car....

Mrs Doyle: So will you have a cup of tea? It's nice and milky.

BACK TO STUDIO


Fr T: So, Fr Jack, how was your test drive of a Volvo?

Fr J: I love my brick!

Fr T: And can you advise us on the correct manoeuvre if you are driving past a convent and some of the people who live there come out?

Fr J: Nuns! Reverse! Reverse! 

Fr T: I'd like to thank our guest star this week, Henry Sellers.  But unfortunately he had a sherry, shouted that he was bigger than the BBC, and then kicked Bishop Len up the.....

Fr Jack: THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP!!!!

1 comment :

  1. Father Ted was a seminal point for the Catholic Church. They've had two Vatican Councils and innumerable Bishops synods - but Fr Ted turned that all on it's head.
    1. A priest who was fully human.
    2. A priest whose lip service obedience to his bishop was an example for all.
    3. A priest who wasn't beyond pulling a fast one if it was to his personal advantage.
    4. A priest whose pastoral care was delegates to his housekeeper and a nice cup of tea and a rock (literally) cake.
    5. A priest whose sense of the right and wrong was completely reversed.
    6. A priest who was happy to smack Dougal around the head whenever he needed it, which was often.
    7. A priest who never worried about a parochial church council, because Rome doesn't do democracy.
    8. A priest who didn't do admin - because there was no reason to do it.
    9. A priest whose ministry was affirmed by the birds and the bees and his booky.
    10. A priest who should have been an Anglican.

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