Wednesday, 3 June 2015

I Mentioned God Once, But I Think I Got Away With It

After the comment from UKViewer on the last post regarding mentioning God - or not -  I'm thinking that this really is the way to go.

After all, the things banned from pub discussions, so they say, are politics and religion. The thing you should never mention from the pulpit, they reckon, is money, in case you upset people.

I sometimes think the sense there is a bit lacking. Presumably the people who get upset if you talk about money fall into two groups:
1. People who can't afford to give a bit more.
2. People who can afford to give a bit more, but don't want to and would rather it wasn't mentioned. It's so vulgar, isn't it, money?

If this is so then I shouldn't mention the spiritual inspiration to be found in the view from high mountains, either. As this will upset people with vertigo, and also people who could go to the top of a mountain but can't be fagged with the walk.

I couldn't mention the wonders of God to be seen in a meadow, in the wild flowers and hedgerows and wildlife. In case I upset people with hay fever, and also people who don't like the countryside. What is wrong with people who don't like the countryside? Are they scared of sheep or something?

I'm sorry, I've lost my track. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Talking about God. Obviously we should be discouraging this. You know, people come to Church, they want to hear something funny; uplifting. They want some peace, to sing a hymn. Maybe they like the architecture. Or they have a thing about sitting in cold buildings. Maybe they are in search of a spiritual experience.

So the last thing they want is someone stood on a wooden box, telling them the logic of the Universe wants to be their friend. It's gonna scare them. They might read the Bible and find out these God persons expect certain kinds of behaviour. They might start to think about death, meaning, truth and other inconvenient concepts.

And you know how it is. Once you start talking about God as if God exists, you might think just saying God all the time is getting to be a bit samey and want to use a pronoun to refer to him/her/them.

And then you've had it.

No, if you want to avoid trouble in church, don't bring God into it, is what I say. After a 100 year trial, the PCCs of the Church of England have discovered that keeping God out of all discussion speeds things up, and has no effect on decision waking. Obviously it's hard to tell, as there's never been a control population, but still.

Now I just have to work on removing the politics.


  1. That was the unspoken culture in the Armed Forces, you never discussed Religion or Politics (by law you had to be neutral about politics - at least in public) but they couldn't control you thoughts...

    Off course, you had the Padre hanging around or 'God Botherer' as he/she/it was commonly known. They were useful to teach 'character forming stuff' and equality and diversity, and listening to the drivel of the troops about their personal stuff, which they couldn't relay to the RSM or the CO because of the seal of the confessional. However, I'm sure that heavy hints might have been dropped 'sotto voice' if the situation was so serious that a massacre was going to take place or alternatively, someone planned to disable the CO's Polo Ponies.

    So Religion was reserved for memorial services and remembrance commemorations and occasionally when a hatch, match or despatch event was held. Politics were only discussed in the privacy of the Sgts Mess, because 'what happens there - stays there' another unwritten rule - it wouldn't be good for you next Confidential Report if the CO knew that you were a 'Raving Looony' supporter. The Officers Mess were too busy training for Polo and the Corporals and Men were too busy getting rat***** to be bothered.

    It seems to me that this matches your post very well? Are you an Ex-Army type by any chance?

  2. Freudian slip there, "decision waking" in the PCC. Things might actually get done if this catches on.


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