But the trouble with being is, You're always got to be somewhere.
And it's not easy. When the expectation is that you'll be at every school governors' meeting, every meeting of the Congregational Disapproval Committee, every social event - even when there's three running simultaneously, in three villages 8 miles apart and the fens have frozen. So you're checking the diary and discovering that your last day off was on Ordination Retreat. And yet still you need to "just keep an eye on" the set up for the jumble sale, or "show your face" at the "Come Dressed as a Llama Pot Luck Sausage Supper". And you've got to stand around not understanding what people are asking, and nodding enouragingly, only to find out that, when the sanctuary has been turned into a ball pit, "the minister agreed to it". It's endless.
And that's when you need Cardbo-Clergy....
Made in high quality recycled cardboard, with a fixed grin, Cardbo-Clergy turns up to the events you don't want to. Cardbo-Clergy will stand, smiling and waving, for hours on end without ever needing to leg it off to the next appointment. Cardbo-Clergy can listen to somebody's ailments for thirty minutes without ever yawning or passing out from boredom. Cardbo-Clergy can attend Circuit Meetings without having stab himself or herself in the leg to stay awake.
Or why not buy 5 Cardbo-Clergy and get the 6th one free? Then you can be "present" simultaneously at a number of events, and still get to spend your Monday cycling, fishing, knitting or fox-hunting according to choice. Just some of the ways in which Cardbo-Clergy can keep the clerical flag flying while you have a well-earned nap instead....
|At the Fete|
|Supporting inter-faith events|
|Smashing the State|
|Getting down with the Youth|