Thursday, 23 July 2015

Liturgy for a Pub Putting Up a Christmas Tree in July

The Greeting

Waiting Person: Have you eaten at a Harvester before?

All: Isn't that a Christmas Tree?

Hymn: The summer holiday and the Ivy

Waiting Person: Would you like to order drinks?

All: Isn't that a Christmas Tree?

Hymn: Do They Know it's Christmas?

All: Isn't that a Christmas Tree?

Hymn: I wish it Could be Xmas Every day

Waiting Person: How are your meals?

All: That is. That's a Christmas Tree.

Hymn: On the Minus 150th Day of Christmas

Waiting Person: Would you like desserts?

All: Christmas Pudding?

Waiting Person: What? In July?

Hymn: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Archdruid: Nights are drawing in.

All: Yes.  We've already done that one.


  1. Perhaps the Labour Leadership Election will be over by Christmas.

  2. There's a pub near Chideock in Dorset, almost on the beach, that used to have a Christmas party on June 25th each year! Tree, decorations, lights, and all the appropriate food - and carol singing, as I remember!! Great fun.
    Amen to the above comment!

  3. On Sunday just gone we sang the popular summer carol We Three Kings in the beer tent at our Diocesan Big Day Out. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

  4. I wonder if Christmas should be banned before 24th December?

    The rampant commercialisation of the festival is demeaning and just an excuse to be jolly and full of beer.

    The secular significance of Christmas is being drowned in a flood of religious sentiment about Good King Senseless and a baby born to a foreign family in the middle east 2k years ago.

    As for the Merry Gentlemen - we get them down our road 7 days a week and the flowers in the front garden are wilting as a result. Ban the lot of them.

    Yours sincerely

    Professor Dawkins

  5. If the Church insists on celebrating Easter every Sunday, how could we complain that there are "hot" cross buns in the supermarket every Saturday? Surely Christmas is no different.

    1. But the Church doesn't insist on celebrating Christmas every Sunday so it is different.

  6. We've got some Christmas music out at Sally Army band practice

    1. This year we have played Christmas music even earlier than 2015.


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