Tuesday, 28 July 2015

The Consultant's Confession

Hi God

Just pinging you to touch base
to regret our downside behavioural synergies
and request your assistance in our resolution process.

We've crossed your red lines
and gone outside tolerances.
And we're flagging a downgrade RAG-wise.

So we've actioned you here
as rectifying our own negative benefits
is above our pay grade.
It's a competency issue, really.

So we're reaching out to you knowing
that you'll align us with your governance going forward,
help us not to have all our balls in the air
or be short-suited at the final washup,
and before close of play
get us over the line.

We're sure you'll support us in socialising your message
and cascading the Good News.

Kindest regards.


  1. could this be downlined for redistribution in our next worship meeting, please?

    1. You mean you'd like us to socialise it?

  2. RAG is out of date. We now have BRAG (Black, Red, Amber Green). Green means we are on course to meet our targets, amber means we look as if we're going to get a near miss, red means we need to find a way of changing the targets without anyone realising or we'll be sunk, and black means we don't have a clue whether we're heading toward the target or not.

    1. I prefer RAYG. Yellow means "something's going wrong but we don't want to worry anyone."


Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl