- As you stand in the porch to say goodbye after the service, you realise most people have snuck out through the back door.
- The stewards forget to invite you to the Annual Church Meeting.
- The Bishop has a separate room at the Palace for complaints from your congregation.
- The magazine editor asks if you had any clever friends at college who might want to contribute to the monthly "thought".
- Babies always cry at their christenings. All through their christenings. From the minute you go round for baptism preparation, and for weeks afterwards. And so do their parents.
- Wandering into the Choir Vestry wondering why your arm is aching, tou find a small "vicar" doll hidden under the anthem sheets.
- Sick people don't complain if you don't come round to see them.
- You find out that people are referring to the Manse as "The Death Star".
- Instead of shouting "Amen" during sermons, the congregation are now praying, "Lord - stop him now!"
- You come back from sabbatical to find the congregation have filled the preaching rota for the next six months with guest speakers.
- The former incumbent's new house in the village has been paid for by a congregational appeal.
- Left under the lid on the Church photocopier, you find a photograph of yourself with the title "Know your Enemy".
- The undertakers have started to advise people to use secular celebrants because "they make death seem less frightening".
- Your Church Times always comes through the letterbox with potential jobs circled in red ink.
- The housebound members of the congregation have nicknamed your bicycle "Binky".
- People start holding up score cards after your sermons.
- When you say that the new building project will take more than two years, the congregation wonder why you're bothering.
- Congregation members change the signs on their door to "No free papers, no salesmen, no clergy".
- Somebody at the Church Committee suggests updating the Church Profile.
- Finally, to revisit that article in Christian Today - if you start to think your congregatio are "agents of Satan" - you may have a bit of an issue. And it may not be your congregation.
Saturday, 19 September 2015
Announced by Archdruid Eileen
Interested in this "Christian Today" article on "Six Ways a Congregation Can Kill a Ministry". Which led me to wonder - how do you know when your own ministry is not going well? Well, from someone whose ministry never goes that well - here's some hints and tips.
at 11:27 am