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Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Church of England Announces "Beatle" Saints

The Church of England, ever keen to stay on the forefront of human culture, has announced that it is to add a new set of commemorations to the Common Worship calendar.

In order to appeal to today's modern, smartphone, wi-fi, connected Millennials, the new set if saints are from the era that today best captures the leading edge of Anglican worship.

The 60s

The Road to Salvation?

Saint
Patronage
St Rita the Lovely
Meter Maids
St Eleanor Rigby
All the lonely people
St Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
Kaleidoscopes
St Pablo Fanques
Fairs
St Henry the Horse
Dancers of the Waltz
St Maxwell
Silver Hammers
St Molly
Singers in Bands
Ss Vera, Chuck & Dave
Grandchildren
St Jude
Musicians who live in the shadow of their parents
St Desmond
Barrow Boys
St JoJo
Returns
St Father McKenzie
Unappreciated preachers and un-darned socks
St Pam
Polythene
St Billy
Shears
St Yoko
Pretentiousness

The new saints have upset traditionalists. When the Revd Blue Meanie was asked where this new direction had left the Church of England, he replied, "Nowhere, Man."

5 comments :

  1. Meanwhile the Catholics are about to begin the Jubilee Year of Mersey.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just as St Augustine took St Jerome to task over the translation of "gourd", so must I reprove you, Eileen, over St Lucy-in-the-Sky's association with kaleidoscopes. She is, of course, the patron of those suffering from tummy-ache, based on the line "The girl with colitis goes by".

    ReplyDelete
  3. Arch Bishop Carey says that you've earned 100 years in Hell for posting this. Particularly as The Beatles were outside the pale of Evangelical Christians.

    ReplyDelete

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