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Tuesday, 29 December 2015

On a Wing and a Prayer

Liturgical news. And it seems a priest in the Philippines has been suspended after riding around his church on a so-called hoverboard, singing a Christmas song to the congregation on Christmas Eve. I reckon he was lucky to get away with a suspension, as the danger of it igniting mid-blessing was apparently fairly high. And there's nothing quite says "Christmas" like a priest exploding as he glides down the nave. Beats an illuminated reindeer.

We've offered him a post as cantor at the Beaker Folk. It may take him a while to get used to the switch from a hoverboard to Heelys®, and Jim Reeves songs are a bit old hat for us, but I think he'll realise he'll be a lot safer. However, we have a lot of competition. The Church of England Liturgical Commission is after him, as well, for their new publication, "Bandwagons and Seasons". The Methodists are reckoning that exploding, mobile worship is surely the Fresh Expression that will finally make a difference.  And it's only a matter of time till Pope Francis - fresh from having a hurricane named after him - realises this priest is The Spirit of Vatican II and gives him his own diocese. That's if he doesn't make it on Manila's Got Talent.

5 comments :

  1. It all sounds a bit OTT.

    And where are they suspending him from? Perhaps the cross or the rafters of the church.

    I thought that the Inquisition ended in the 17th Century.

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    1. I think technically the Inquisition is still with us - now called the Congregation for the Defence of the Faith.

      The Catholic Church is a little more prescriptive than the Beaker Folk. And though hoverboards weren't around when Our Lord walked the earth, it's probably fair to say the bishops have always insisted on a certain amount of discipline around the Mass.

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  2. I readsomewhere a newsflash that the diocese had "suspended his faculties".

    Sounds really painful.

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    Replies
    1. An act of kindness, really. It stops him running them over.

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  3. Restricting his faculties - a good lesson for the CofE perhaps. The Consistery Courts would be out of of business.

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