Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Turning Down the OBE

Once again I have had to turn down the OBE for services to religion.

I should stress that this rejection is strictly on moral grounds. If the following small demands are accepted I will be happy to accept next time:
  • Elimination of the use of pit ponies
  • Thomas Hardy finally to get the Poet Laureate he so richly deserves
  • An end to the Vietnam war
  • Repeal of the Test Acts
  • Jeremy Corbyn to be allowed to join the Privy Council
  • Disestablishment of the Baptist Union
  • More tea lights on the Daily Service on Radio 4
  • Recognition that the First Order is a terrorist organisation
  • Test Cricket to be on BBC
  • Richard Dawkins to be made a Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
I think these are all pretty reasonable. Come on, Your Majesty - sort this out and we can make this happen!

1 comment :

  1. I think that you are being a bit vague in your demands, knowing that they will never be met. The Baptist Union will never be disestablished.

    Better to ask for the cancellation of the Factories Act, which is still causing us industrialists real pain. We're no longer permitted to send children up Chimneys to clean them. We can't employ six year old's to clear the blockages under the looms, nor can we send them down the Pit's.

    Worst of all, we have to provide WC's and Ablutions, what was wrong with taking a shovel out into the backyard and getting on with it?


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