All: And also with you.
Archdruid: Obviously, you lot are all genuinely feeling a sense of divine peace. Whereas I must admit I'm a seething mass of tension. That tension I always carry with me.
All: And also with us.
Archdruid: In fact I'm not even sure I should be leading this. You're gonna think the sermon is rubbish, badly thought-through and theologically illiterate. You're all brighter than me,
All: You're leading this because your pointy hat convinced us you're the only proper leader here.
Archdruid: Please be seated, all appearing serene and spiritual, while the turmoil of inauthenticity churns within you.
All: And also in you.
Mario Balotelli: Actually, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be here...
Archdruid: I dunno, Mario. At least you're not at Anfield.
Reading: Judges 6:11-40
Reader: This is the word of the Lord, which I have frankly rather messed up through my squeaky voice and Black Country accent.
All: You read it much better than we ever could.
Reader: And I'm sure other, proper leaders, wouldn't have this kipper tie.
All: You've got it in perfectly standard "Beryl" crockery. At our churches we have mugs - we're sure that's not right.
|A Kipper Tie|
Imposter:Oh, hang on - this is 10 yards Doggy Paddle. And I'm not sure I didn't put my feet on the bottom halfway across, now I think back.
All: Imposter! Imposter!
Archruid: Isn't that another certificate stuck to the swimming one?
Imposter: Oh yeah. A Diploma in Dogma. To be honest, I have no idea how I ever passed it. I must have scraped through. Maybe they marked somebody else's paper?
Archdruid: You see? Let he who is without Imposter Syndrome cast the first stone...
Stoning Party: OK. We'll just leave these piled here then.... We probably couldn't throw straight, anyway.
Archdruid: Morgwulf will now lead us in our Prayers of Reassurance.
Morgwulf: You sure? I'm not really very good at this...