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Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Handfasting Charges 2016

For those incredibly sad Beaker Folk who've been following the Twitter Church of England Synod feed and want to know why we don't have a similar system. First up, of course we do.

And for anyone thinking of a Beaker Handfasting - the charges are as follows.

Handfasting.................... £45

Broomstick-Jumping..... £10

Certificate ...................... £10

March of the Penguins... 20 herrings

Beaker Quire................... £ Free

Beaker Quire Absent...... £20

Sermon ........................... £10 / min

Sermon (pre-loved) ........ £20

Heating (Oil fired) .......... £90

Heating (Dragon fired) ... 3 sheep

Clown Celebrant ............. £90

Humanist Celebrant ....... Free with a real one

Confetti ........................... £15

Locking the "ex" outside. £75

Video ............................... £20

Bouncers ......................... £45

Hoverboard Procession* £50

Fireworks ........................ £200+

Mini bar ........................... Prices as listed

Bowling Alley ................... £5 per game

Fairy Godparent ............... £70

Tea lights ..........................  10p

Golf buggy ........................ £30

Verging on the ridiculous. £30

Lucky stones .................... £10

Lecherous Uncle .............. Ubiquitous

Inter-family fight ............... £100

* £200 deposit, refunded if the hoverboard doesn't explode

4 comments :

  1. Specially love the Quire charges!

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  2. Are you sure? A couple of lines of the Shipping Forecast seem to have got mixed in with that.

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  3. I am just imagining a procession of Priest and servers all on Hoverboards. Seeing the video of just one Priest riding his hoverboard was enough to give me apoplexy but a whole procession - wow!

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    Replies
    1. I expect Archdruid Eileen gained more enjoyment from writing this post than we did in relation to the somewhat inopportune Synod debate. However, I note that most of the Beaker charges for Handfasting relate to "extras" rather than the ceremony itself.

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