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Sunday, 19 June 2016

The End of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Good news from our traditional Fathering Sunday mythical creatures hunt. For the first time in Beaker history, we have managed to capture an invisible unicorn.

The mythical creatures hunt was the result of a lot of agonising. Obviously we wanted to reproduce the angst that everybody gets on Mothering Sunday - the preacher not wanting to offend anyone, the treading on eggshells. But we didn't want to dwell on it too long. So we needed something male-friendly. And what could be more male-friendly than something task-based (ie looking for something) and totally futile (looking for imaginary creatures).

But this year we've hit the jackpot. We managed to find an invisible unicorn while it was feasting on the remains of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The bad news being that there's a whole bunch of colander-wearing geeks who now aren't just terrible disappointments to their fathers, but they don't have anything to make them think they're philosophical comic geniuses. Fathers' Day is totally ruined for them. But then this particular class of individual has probably been wrecking Fathers' Day for years, buying their dads The God Delusion or Richard Dawkins: The Flight of the Honeybee when frankly they really just wanted beer or football compilation DVDs featuring Richard Hammond or whatever.

If anyone wants to know how you know you've found an invisible unicorn, the answer is obvious. Black matt paint. Though unfortunately we only managed one coat, and it's dried streaky and we're in the most almighty row with Woburn Safari Park. They think we've customised a zebra.

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