Archdruid: How tangled are these Christmas lights?
All: In the dark places have they been knit together.
Hymn: Light up the Fire
Archdruid: Oh Lord, how tangled is our flex.
All: Our neighbours say "aha!" as their lights shine on their garage. Their see-saw Santas pour contempt on us.
Archdruid: But I am staring at a cardboard box full of hideously knotted plastic and wire.
Young Keith: I carefully wound them last January...
Archdruid: It's not you. It's physics.
All: No! It's the evil spirits that creep into lofts during the summer and ties up Christmas lights into impossible knots. We think they work for Wilkinsons.
Archdruid: Does anyone know how to untangle this terrible mess?
All: It's a Gordian Knot.
Hnaef: Rejoice! For I have a classical education! I know how to deal with a Gordian knot!
All: No! They're plugged in.....
Hnaef cuts the Gordian knot with a bread knife. There's quite a lot of light for a short period of time. Then the circuit breaker cuts in.
Archdruid: Not again. Not four years running. Little Hnaefs, go and get your dad a brandy. Charliie, Keith - can you nip down to Wilko's and get some new lights?
Song: Bling out Solstice Bells