Friday, 7 July 2017

On the Wearing of Pointy Hats

Burton Dasset has questioned why I wear a pointy hat. Pointy hats, he points (haha) out, have been associated with oppression and social control since the Wicked Witch of the West.

But I believe Burton has pushed his case too far. After all, others have worn pointy hats without ever oppressing the inhabitants of Oz. The Pet Shop Boys and Grotbags, to name but two. What Burton has done is confuse the wearing of an item of clothing with a form of behaviour. To take an example, Doc Martins Boots can equally be worn by skinheads, IT project managers and female vicars from Wiltshire. And of those three, one only needs seriously to fear the latter.

So I will wear my pointy hat with style. For did St Kirsty herself not wear a pointy(ish) hat in the video for New England? I'm not trying to change the world. I'm just trying to keep the Beaker Folk under control.


  1. Point of grammar: if you have three options, the latter is the second and the third is the last. "Latter" is one of those words,like twin, twice, twain, pair and both, which are survivals from Anglo-Saxon grammar and designate "two-ness". Anglo-Saxon even had pronouns, wit and git, which signify we two and you two as opposed so simple plurals.

  2. It was once asked of a policeman if his head went up to the top of his helmet. Given that members of the episcopacy wear hats with TWO points, what does this say about the shape of their heads?


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