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Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

Sunday, 31 December 2017

Liturgy for the First Sunday after Christmas

Visiting Lay Preacher: The Lord be with you

Visiting Ocarinist: And also with you.

VLP: Where's the organist?

VO: Having a rest after Christmas. Where's the normal minister?

VLP: Having a rest after Christmas. Where's the normal replacement organist?

VO: Playing at all the other churches. Where's this church's Lay Preacher?

Nope, no choir either

VLP: Having a rest after Christmas. Where's the Wardens?

VO: Gone away to see their kids. Where's the other Lay Preacher they get in on the week after Easter?

VLP: Lanzarote. Shall we kick off the hymns?

VO: What have you picked?

VLP: Once in Royal?

VO: Too tricky.

VLP: O Come All Ye Faithful?

VO: Bit Christmassy?

VLP: We Three Kings?

VO: Too long. It brings on my panic attacks.

VLP: What can you actually play?

VO: Abba Father.

VLP: OK, let's go for it...

VO: Where's the congregation?

Ghosts: Having a rest after Christmas.

VLP:  Shall I skip the sermon?

VO: Please.

VLP: OK.  Let's go home.  Happy New Year.

VO: And also with you.



Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

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