Tuesday, 20 March 2018

The Vernal Equinox Massacre

Once again the Vernal Equinox celebrations didn't go so well.

I mean, on the bright side we'd lost nearly all the snow. So the celebrations weren't as cold as we'd be fearing. Not warm, though. The sun barely made a difference.

But a fight breaking out between our assorted folkloric characters and decayed divinities really put a damper on the matter. The sight of a Wodewose fighting with the Piper at the Gates of Dawn over whether it's "Vernal" or "Spring" equinox was just embarrassing.

Hnaef tried to lighten things up with his six-monthly tightrope walk across the Duck Pond, as a symbol of all things balanced. Walked straight into Duck Henge and plunged into the inky depths.

And Herne the Hunter didn't help. We've worked really hard on him. Tried to explain that in this day and age, catching wild animals isn't regarded as fun any more. Told him about the concepts of Drag Hunting. Of getting willing young idiots to run across the countryside, laying a trail for hunters to follow with dogs instead of the old methods.

And what does he do?

Only shoots the Easter Bunny.

The Daily Mail's gonna have a field day over this one.

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

1 comment :

  1. I've often wondered what the Venal equinox is? Now I know. And excuse for a good punch up and the slaughter of the innocent. Pity Katie Hopkins wasn't there, Herne the Hunter could have done the world a favour.


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