Saturday 29 September 2018

Politics, Technology and Science Roundup

Great excitement as the Tory Party find their conference app has revealed full details of MPs' personal details and whereabouts. Which would suggest that Marina Wheeler at some point has hacked it in an attempt to find out where the heck Boris Johnson was. Apparently user history shows that while everyone else in the world logged in to become Minister for Food Supplies for a few hours, Johnson has just spent the last 24 hours swiping right.

Still, on the bright side I'm now in possession of all the personal details of Michael Gove. Turns out he's a shiny-faced liar whose ambition is a different order of magnitude to his talent, and whose expression resembles one of those scary ventriloquist's dolls. Who knew?

Meanwhile, a professor tells us that particle accelerator experiments could compress the whole world into a sphere 100m across. Michael Gove assures us we're all totally safe, as the Astronomer Royal is an expert so there's no need to listen to anything he says. While Theresa May has assured us that, at that scale, the Irish border will by definition be frictionless. There won't be the space for the infrastructure. And David Davis is reflecting that, if the earth were reduced in scale like that, even he could have raised the energy to travel the 15 inches to speak the EU over the last 2 years.




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5 comments :

  1. I'm interested in that particle accelerator threat. But fortunately there was a long enough snippet that I could read for free to see that the Telegraph's science editor doesn't know what she is talking about (although I'm sure Prof Rees does), so I wasn't tempted to subscribe to read the rest of the article. Not that I would want to subscribe to the Torygraph anyway.

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    1. This comment was by Peter Kirk, but Blogger is so buggy that it won't take my login.

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    2. So the tip is, Peter, you can subscribe for a limited number of articles for free. My advice is, don't look at the ones written by Boris Johnson.

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  2. Thank you for solving a mystery which has long baffled me. I knew Mr Gove reminded me of someone/something but could not pinpoint it. Now I know!

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  3. If Mr Gove is a Ventriloquists Doll, who is working him? Certainly not Borish, I suspect David Cameron in his true nature?

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