tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47952848458362707132024-03-18T16:19:09.134+00:00Beaker Folk of Husborne CrawleyAn Oasis of Fuzzy Thinking - the post-Christendom paradigm. And now with added tea lights!WodeWosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18381754587879658356noreply@blogger.comBlogger6602125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-65171580108220170662024-03-17T08:00:00.002+00:002024-03-17T08:03:13.813+00:00If a kernel of wheat dies (John 12:20-33)
<p>The first thing always strikes me about this passage is: these
Greeks have come to Jesus. Or to be exact they’ve come to Philip, who’s gone to
Andrew, and together they’ve gone to Jesus.</p>
<p>Who then ignores the Greeks completely and just goes off on this
tangent.</p>
<p>Is this because the Greeks have actually served their purpose?
Jesus has gone out to the Children of Israel. Some have responded, some haven’t.
And occasionally he’s met a Gentile - a non-Jew - and dealt with them – the Centurion
whose servant he heals, or the Syro-Phoenician woman. </p>
<p>But this time there’s a delegation come to see him. Isaiah 60
says “all nations will come to your light”. And maybe Jesus sees this as the sign
that his mission on earth is coming to an end – and the greater mission is come.
And so immediately he’s talking about his death, and about how when you plant a
seed, that seed “dies” in the ground, but many seeds will come from the resulting
plant. </p>
<p>And so he knows he will be lifted up on the cross. But when he
is, that means the Spirit can be poured out on all the disciples – from then until
now – to share the Good News throughout the world. The seed will be sown – and many
seeds will be produced. That first generation of Jesus’s disciples showed the recklessness
that only those who know the most important thing on earth- and want to share it
– can show.</p>
<p>And in being lifted up, Jesus also draws all people to himself.
The word “lifted up” also means “exalted”. And it’s in Jesus’s crucifixion that
he’s shown in glory. It’s in his death that he drives out the evil Prince of this
world.</p>
<p>Being a gloomy soul, I like to spend a lot of time in churchyards. Apart from anything else, wearing my big archdruidical cloak, you can terrify the unwary around sundown. And it’s not
the big old tombs to important people that move me. They've maybe had their reward. It’s the graves of young children.
It’s the military graves, people dying in their 20s and 30s and 40s to protect
our country. The young women lost before they achieve their dreams. And I think of all that sadness,
their lost potential for love and achievement, not living to see dreams come to fulfilment or their children grow. I think
of all those young people lost in the AIDS pandemic, of my friend Sally, so full
of life and interest in everyone else that she drove us up the wall quite frequently
- taken so suddenly in the Covid pandemic.</p>
<p>And then I consider the Son of God, crucified for me, just in
his early 30s. The grief of his mother. The dashed dreams of his disciples. All
the teaching and preaching he could have done – all the love he would have shared
given another 40 or 50 years of ministry.</p>
<p>In all our broken dreams and lost potential, and all our sadnesses,
and in every might-have-been that never will be – God is with us. </p>
<p>And yet because a seed has been sown, it will grow to new life.
At the point of death, beyond the point of hope, in the grave, God is with us there too. Calling us all to him. Calling us to share in the glorious land beyond all
our dreams, where we are truly ourselves and can worship the King face to face and
know as we are known and love as we are loved.</p>
<p>And it’s only through a cross that we can be saved, and only
through the grave that we can be raised, and only when a seed dies that it will
grow to new and abundant life.</p>
<p>So we trust in the one who was exalted on a cross and follow
the one who gave up his life, that we might all share in it.</p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-15018689499648144832024-03-10T20:13:00.001+00:002024-03-10T20:13:11.429+00:00The Complete Church Generation X Detector<p>I feel I should share this with you. This was revealed to me today, as in a dream.</p><p>If you refer to the Book of Judges, and you say that the best judge was a woman.</p><p>And you say that her name was Deborah.</p><p>And then say that it never suited her.</p><p>Anyone who nods and smiles quietly, is Generation X.</p><p>If they look baffled, they're Boomers.</p><p>And if they say she should have been happy with the name her father gave her, they're evangelicals.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-71335859818507829572024-02-27T09:01:00.002+00:002024-02-27T09:01:36.147+00:00Beaker Collect for St George Herbert<p> We desire that, if we meet George Herbert on the road, <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/meet-George-Herbert-road-kill/dp/1906286175">we may kill him</a>.</p><p>And that we may so balance our desire to care, our desire to please, and our bodily and mental health needs, that we don't end up burned-out wrecks or die of consumption.</p><p>Amen. </p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-89412861757121693492024-02-17T20:43:00.001+00:002024-02-17T20:43:39.519+00:00Bishop Alan WilsonI'm so sad to hear of the death of<a href="https://www.oxford.anglican.org/death-announced-of-the-rt-rev-dr-alan-wilson-bishop-of-buckingham.php"> Alan Wilson</a>, Bishop of Buckingham.<div><br />Alan was a good friend of the Beaker Folk, a funny and caring man. </div><div><br /></div><div>May he rest in peace and rise in glory. We'll be lighting tea lights for him, Lucy, and all his family. </div>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-75623533873613091082024-02-01T10:46:00.002+00:002024-02-01T10:46:46.132+00:00Say it with AshesWe're so excited that this year's Ash Wednesday falls on Valentine's Day.<div><br /><div>It gives Melissa Sparrow the chance to write a special series of poems reflecting on both the joy of love, and the fleeting nature of all earthly joys. </div><div><br /></div><div>Welcome to our special collection of Ashy Valentine cards. I think you'll agree - they're the perfect combination of romantic love and impending doom.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi96eG-WUl7VCNlNQ10ySkp2_Ihsb6KOZBEmsc6EKJ1RF9oF8uat-7toZD5xO9z69C3hY5oQ7C0ii6TdbQdh2yOAC5J7zBM5pkZModB1FqsA12j7WQnfno4U38EHMfjg0bGCf_wJ1ehhckQpn-8o6IBUrHzq0Ge0NwrGxGCj3K4Q02I77PUKcOMzbuFLIE/s960/Slide1.PNG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi96eG-WUl7VCNlNQ10ySkp2_Ihsb6KOZBEmsc6EKJ1RF9oF8uat-7toZD5xO9z69C3hY5oQ7C0ii6TdbQdh2yOAC5J7zBM5pkZModB1FqsA12j7WQnfno4U38EHMfjg0bGCf_wJ1ehhckQpn-8o6IBUrHzq0Ge0NwrGxGCj3K4Q02I77PUKcOMzbuFLIE/s320/Slide1.PNG" width="240" /></a></div></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Text inside: <div><br /></div><div><i>Violets are blue, roses are red</i></div><div><i>let's get it on now, before we're both dead.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVcTN1Xwb_5jnTW9PbaQgmqDspxtWpfWMnyBvFgLtK2UYVwQ57gCYotsVb3vbhRS6EifT7_ocCyBDFbONfGZJ81VeafH_cIZDMaFVKITNhBnNj8V-G-SXdoByydPxeCGRBiRDsEJMu_JQ7BOc4toGB8MaA0lDlDvdve82HVwPbolH8L9Fnc_U6chlfkdI/s960/Slide2.PNG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVcTN1Xwb_5jnTW9PbaQgmqDspxtWpfWMnyBvFgLtK2UYVwQ57gCYotsVb3vbhRS6EifT7_ocCyBDFbONfGZJ81VeafH_cIZDMaFVKITNhBnNj8V-G-SXdoByydPxeCGRBiRDsEJMu_JQ7BOc4toGB8MaA0lDlDvdve82HVwPbolH8L9Fnc_U6chlfkdI/s320/Slide2.PNG" width="240" /></a></div><br />Text inside: </div><div><br /></div><div><i>Don't leaf me this way </i></div><div><i>Why can't you see</i></div><div><i>I might fall off this tree?</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPV_Saj1xkKSC0AUL9at-1FOd_dazu-NC_nTR3gbYqLkE7ybnT7igPXFtkVfbyjYWQNwJxK1UkcmQet7bXlUD1GW0JgbLGgLUha5F2srf8ClUbM1KDW5FflDu_CYDAPq8YICyqEbBaUUawzvo_xoUdjcxr6Aj7GchyLcals455yWcfPZ1E8WdaPnO7w8A/s960/Slide3.PNG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPV_Saj1xkKSC0AUL9at-1FOd_dazu-NC_nTR3gbYqLkE7ybnT7igPXFtkVfbyjYWQNwJxK1UkcmQet7bXlUD1GW0JgbLGgLUha5F2srf8ClUbM1KDW5FflDu_CYDAPq8YICyqEbBaUUawzvo_xoUdjcxr6Aj7GchyLcals455yWcfPZ1E8WdaPnO7w8A/s320/Slide3.PNG" width="240" /></a></div><i><br /></i></div><div>Text inside:<br /><br /></div><div><i>A rose by any other name</i></div><div><i>Would still be withered and dead within a fortnight.</i></div><div><i>Will you be my Valentine? </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_k5eylosKrqPFtg5pzu3j3oxOzfhCD8hWpg3HmZiezcjo5LpdR8a7rxDnDKOSLMDUKXoGY_d-YmBsRmK0HCrMLJvt349ijbNiWd3ggZAS6gRWixjJRmIPDE8qx_TC5Hh2V4K43FUq8xCOu7gEm4GdfnZRDRIKLyYBwlNqwROB9bLXAdHmrcdrWeAhQ_M/s960/Slide4.PNG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_k5eylosKrqPFtg5pzu3j3oxOzfhCD8hWpg3HmZiezcjo5LpdR8a7rxDnDKOSLMDUKXoGY_d-YmBsRmK0HCrMLJvt349ijbNiWd3ggZAS6gRWixjJRmIPDE8qx_TC5Hh2V4K43FUq8xCOu7gEm4GdfnZRDRIKLyYBwlNqwROB9bLXAdHmrcdrWeAhQ_M/s320/Slide4.PNG" width="240" /></a></div>Text inside:</div><div><div><br /></div><div><i>I've fallen for you</i></div></div><div><i>Can you pick me up</i></div><div><i>Before we're all just ashes?</i></div><br /></div>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-76301113181377883032024-01-24T15:34:00.007+00:002024-01-24T15:34:48.451+00:00Family Worship and Inclusivity<p>I'd like to apologize for this Sunday's Family Worship.</p><p>Some people have complained that the use of the term "Family Worship" might be regarded as patriarchal. Insensitive to those that have non-traditional family structures. Or even non-Biblical family structures. I know that Dweezil claims his family structure (himself, his wife, his wife's sister, two housemaids and all their children) is Biblical. But, at least in 21st Century Husborne Crawley, it's not traditional. I know we say we're inclusive, but I wasn't intending to include that.</p><p>However. I did argue that even though I don't really like the term, you could say that Family in this context means all the Beaker Family together for the whole act of worship, not just for the first ten minutes and then the Little Pebbles are sent to do something more interesting, while the adults all try and pretend that lighting tea lights in a different order is somehow creative. It's important that we all learn together sometimes.</p><p>And that's why, when Gredwell said he was prepared to lead Family Worship, I was happy to think that we would all be together.</p><p>I didn't realise Gredwell meant we were supposed to worship the Trump family. Not that kind of Family Worship. </p><p>We're certainly not that inclusive.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-30789971276803397042024-01-21T12:58:00.004+00:002024-01-21T15:17:10.972+00:00Church Vacancy: Facilitation Facilitator - Diocese of Barchester<p>As part of the Bishop of Barchester's strategy for the diocese: "Re-envisioning the Vision", a number of roles have been created for Mission Facilitators.</p><p>Each Mission Facilitator is assiged to a Mission Facilitation Group. They can be either lay or ordained. Their role is to facilitate Mission within the Group, identifying opportunities for facilitation when the Mission is under-facilitated, and enabling greater facilitation.</p><p>But Mission Facilitators cannot facilitate Mission on their own. They are above all mediators between those who apparently worship in what used to be called "parishes", and the team of Mission Archdeacons-without-Portfolio who have been appointed to manage the facilitators. Their roles require communication both vertically - up to the Mission Archdeacons and down to the people who occasionally meet in churches - and sideways, to ensure that they are facilitating Mission in a way that is truly enabling and envisioning.</p><p>In order to ensure the cohesion of the Mission Facilitators, Benefice Consolidators, and Mission Archdeacons, we have therefore created the role of Facilitation Facilitator. The right person for the role will be responsing for both upstream and downstream Mission Facilitation, chairing the Mission Facilitation committee and providing the Mission Archeacons with up to date information on the Mission Facilitation dashboard, enabling them to gain a helicopter view of where Mission requires additional facilitation, and where Mission has been quite facilitated enough.</p><p>If you feel you are the right person for this job, send your CV, together with full details of your career in Post Office management, to the PA to the PA to the PA to the PA to the Archdeacon of Barchester, Plumstead Episcopi, Barsetshire.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-58482059538999164742024-01-11T22:13:00.002+00:002024-01-11T22:24:54.250+00:00The Typical Church Notice Board<p style="text-align: left;"> <span style="font-family: inherit;">Welcome to our guide to church notice boards.</span></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We're not saying this is the perfect notice board.</span></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But it's probably the one you'll end up with.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6mLG_5A3KgVA_gX-c8bT-46LM_teF2BQaDlNx6sD8ZMAN5JzKoymvY2O5CvQLFRdvfMoOm7CcbbR0UlvAN24AmUQGfZjnt4PgEOJ0mC-OsTWZW9GT047B7y8dPeqDng2QvrZTjfYn3JeG4-Kfe-Q_vgP0IDUyoIY74u5nTl99ztwOS5NNqW7Gy54HRJQ/s1701/Beaker%20Folk%20Notice%20Board.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1701" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6mLG_5A3KgVA_gX-c8bT-46LM_teF2BQaDlNx6sD8ZMAN5JzKoymvY2O5CvQLFRdvfMoOm7CcbbR0UlvAN24AmUQGfZjnt4PgEOJ0mC-OsTWZW9GT047B7y8dPeqDng2QvrZTjfYn3JeG4-Kfe-Q_vgP0IDUyoIY74u5nTl99ztwOS5NNqW7Gy54HRJQ/w400-h301/Beaker%20Folk%20Notice%20Board.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-40438164495583952122024-01-06T12:53:00.002+00:002024-01-06T12:53:43.062+00:00Happy Easter <p>"<a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-67881503">Why are you displaying Easter Eggs already</a>?" asks Rachel Treweek, Bishop of Gloucester.</p><p>The short answer is - "Logistics". </p><p>The long answer - what else are the supermarkets now going to put on their shelves? </p><p>The Christmas clearance is being cleared. The Mothering Sunday flowers can't be brought in until a few days before Mothering Sunday. Likewise those for Valentine's Day. And Epiphany and Candlemas aren't great marketing opportunities. So what is relatively long life, can be got onto the shelf, and some people might buy them in advance? Chocolate eggs. </p><p>You simply can't deliver every required Easter Egg on Maundy Thursday. There aren't enough warehouses to hold them until then (though you might believe there is if you take a tour from Marston Gate, via Wellingborough and Corby, to Rugby). There aren't enough lorries to get on the road to deliver them all in a day or a week or a fortnight. </p><p>Also - they're colourful, they're jolly, and they're just the thing to brighten up the shelves in these dark days of after-Christmas while we wait for the days to lengthen in earnest. And <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20110625072853/http://www.kraftfoodscompany.com/Brands/largest-brands/brands-C/Pages/creme_egg.aspx" target="_blank">Cadbury's Creme Eggs have been available from 1 January to Easter since 1975</a>.</p><p>So happy Easter! </p><p>Oh, and as for Nigel Griffin of Gloucester, who said: "It is a bit too early. I wonder what the sell by date is on them. They could go out of date before Easter." </p><p>Go and look at one, Nigel. They're easy to find. They're on the supermarket shelves. Then you'll know.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-38291817702490062442023-12-24T20:11:00.003+00:002023-12-24T20:13:39.547+00:00The Oxen and the Angels<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpenSqOt2Sa9CNiBbiYO7da7pRo3GcqyhQyXOlmHlsMdMS2WBxzF53WAuQwLWnLSc09KoICDhChtt50AGOw78Y_xZS_92l4sHa8w6YM1XXVDGQH4iFQyDY8BcQ3ZawpDWXlUDJIzdQpofiFfX3T91XbAgnW4mjWviUuERMyUp8QNDTPtzuaWzxl3u5URI/s2940/all%20hallows%20crib%20magi%20wise%20men%20waterpixels.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Blurred pixel image of a crib scene with Mary, Joseph, Wise Men, kneeling ox" border="0" data-original-height="1824" data-original-width="2940" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpenSqOt2Sa9CNiBbiYO7da7pRo3GcqyhQyXOlmHlsMdMS2WBxzF53WAuQwLWnLSc09KoICDhChtt50AGOw78Y_xZS_92l4sHa8w6YM1XXVDGQH4iFQyDY8BcQ3ZawpDWXlUDJIzdQpofiFfX3T91XbAgnW4mjWviUuERMyUp8QNDTPtzuaWzxl3u5URI/w400-h249/all%20hallows%20crib%20magi%20wise%20men%20waterpixels.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />A Christmassy Poem - The Oxen by Thomas Hardy. Based on an old tradition that the animals would bow in worship on Christmas night: <p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><div><i></i></div><blockquote><div><i>Christmas Eve, and twelve of the clock.</i></div><div><i>“Now they are all on their knees,”</i></div><div><i>An elder said as we sat in a flock</i></div><div><i>By the embers in hearthside ease.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>We pictured the meek mild creatures where</i></div><div><i>They dwelt in their strawy pen,</i></div><div><i>Nor did it occur to one of us there</i></div><div><i>To doubt they were kneeling then.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>So fair a fancy few would weave</i></div><div><i>In these years! Yet, I feel,</i></div><div><i>If someone said on Christmas Eve,</i></div><div><i>“Come; see the oxen kneel,</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>“In the lonely barton by yonder coomb</i></div><div><i>Our childhood used to know,”</i></div><div><i>I should go with him in the gloom,</i></div><div><i>Hoping it might be so.</i></div></blockquote><div><i></i></div></div><p>A lovely poem from one of the great writers about Christmas. Albeit he was an agnostic or atheist, or somewhere in between He had embraced the mid-Victorian changes in views on science, taken up Modernism, and decided they didn’t tally with Christianity. </p><p>I’ll be honest, to me the science of those 19th Century Modernists – deterministic, everything in its place – seems naive in the light of the 20th Century discoveries in Relativity and Quantum Theory. And that confident belief in the religion of Progress was shattered by two world wars. Which also broke Western faith, and left nothing in its place.</p><p>Hardy seems to believe that in shedding the folk faith of his childhood, he has lost something. And I think he has. Douglas Adams has one of his characters say, “Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” – which causes me to reflect two things – one is that even the wildest of wildflower gardens has a gardener. And the other is – wouldn’t it be great if there were fairies at the bottom of the garden?</p><p>And because the church is so often in hock to the ideas of 30, 50, or 100 years ago, we can be part of the disenchantment of our world. Because we’re often basing what we do on the secular modernism of the past. It’s too easy to cling to schemes for growing the church, following the methodology of business, working on our bug-free five steps to salvation or seven weeks to change your life. Or the business methods of charismatic leadership can give us churches which are about the personality and power – and protection – of the leaders rather than actually following God’s ways.</p><p>And sometimes, the job of the church is to stop being busy about schemes, be quiet, and listen to the angels sing. And on Christmas Night, of all nights, it’s appropriate. Because – back to Hardy’s poem – a world devoid of mystery is a world just a little hollow. And while I don’t believe that cows bow the knee in their barns on Christmas Eve, I do believe that a mystery happened the day that God dropped in.</p><p>Our tired old world has made its 4.53 billionth trip around the sun. Or thereabouts. We remember that one year, the God who made the earth made it his home. And we can praise the God whose birth was heralded by the angels who sang when the Universe was made. Whose dark eyes reflected the stars that he called into being.</p><p>So we come, and bow, lay our claims down, and give God thanks. Today a child has been born to us. Born to bring us close to his Father. Born to make the world anew. And the heavens tell us his glory. So take a moment, make space in your heart, and hear the angels sing.</p><div><br /></div>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-86126448179879188952023-12-01T11:43:00.001+00:002023-12-01T11:47:43.876+00:00The Fairytale of Isaiah<p>"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand." (Isa 64:8) </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVakDS1JKPjIjjIM7H0r10D0QxFHhhBaKWUfGHbeB57ukZRBG_VDgEAVn8omsZRBHv8x4MddPpG6-QS_evTOZKVzD30_JMJy0aYMpJkX00_SoZfwsO4rJbwyA76_Bhyn4BMLmCAhEQSRmvLnbeRO3q33Vlbzs6_N2a3Vk1VDK84gTVOYAq_oLP8xrYb5Y/s642/kirsty.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Kirsty MacColl leaning over piano, singing at Shane MacGowan, black and white, in Fairytale of New York," border="0" data-original-height="411" data-original-width="642" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVakDS1JKPjIjjIM7H0r10D0QxFHhhBaKWUfGHbeB57ukZRBG_VDgEAVn8omsZRBHv8x4MddPpG6-QS_evTOZKVzD30_JMJy0aYMpJkX00_SoZfwsO4rJbwyA76_Bhyn4BMLmCAhEQSRmvLnbeRO3q33Vlbzs6_N2a3Vk1VDK84gTVOYAq_oLP8xrYb5Y/w400-h256/kirsty.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p>Hard to know where to start with the woe of the world today. Innocents suffer and die as Hamas attacks Israel and Israel bombs Gaza. Ukraine faces another winter of bombardment of its energy supplies, up against a gormless yet relentless opponent. In order to try to resolve the issue of climate change, three English dignitaries fly to a conference in separate private planes. And Shane MacGowan has died just before Christmas. And the hope that Fairytale of New York may finally make it to number 1 after 36 years comes as small consolation.</p><p>Like Kirsty McColl and Shane Macgowan, Isaiah 64 is looking into a world of disillusionment after hope. After Exile, the hope was that the Jews would return to a land of blessing - where ever valley was raised up, every mountain lowered, every road made smooth, and they would live up their calling to be God's chosen people.</p><p>Instead, they managed about half of it. Malachi will point out to them that they're letting down their side of the covenant in the imperfect sacrifices they're bringing.They were still a fractious little nation, with a poor replica of their original Temple, surrounded by enemies and at risk of being crushed by the great empires around them. The dreams weren't bad, but after the party they still have the hangover of reality to face. </p><p>And if that's not sounding familiar yet again today, I don't know what is.</p><p>And yet amid the disappointment, there is hope. And the hope doesn't come from the failing People of God, as they forget to call on God's name and do their substandard good works. Instead it comes from their Covenant God. The one who on Sinai made the mountain shake with holiness.</p><p>And so the turn to God as their faithful parent - "we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand." The clay on the wheel may go wrong - but that doesn't make it worthless. It can be remoulded, returned, broken flat and made into a ball and raised up again.</p><p>All those people that sell us perfect lives - with the right products, the right lifestyle, the right prayers, the right way of following God's laws - are lying to us. Because in this world it is not in our hands to have a perfect life. Even a man as rich as Elon Musk must put up with his own fallibility - whether he believes in it or not.</p><p>When Kirsty tells Shane in "Fairytale" that he's taken her dreams from her, he says "I kept them with my own. Can't make it all alone. I built my dreams around you." In the drunk-tank, as two lovers scream abuse at each other, there's still a glint around, as the boys of the non-existent NYPD choir sing and the bells ring out Christmas Day.</p><p>We can despair, or we can turn and say - you are the potter, I am the clay. Let's try again, and again. Remake me again, and let's see how it works out this time. And let me be remade and remodelled and changed until the day when I am fully in the right image - the one I am called to be, the one I was seen as before time began, the one I will be when time ends. And if it takes the end of time to make this all right, then let that be.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-6613997835908322852023-11-25T16:31:00.001+00:002023-11-25T16:31:04.293+00:00Be a Goat<p> Intrigued by this <a href="https://thisestate.blogspot.com/2023/11/be-like-fox-sermon-for-2nd-sunday.html?spref=fb&fbclid=IwAR08iktlpKVe26psduGqlGLzKkdNqlH-g2GeeX3OVPKXh78R9Lf89jhWrOo">re-interpretation </a>of the Parable of the Talents where the third servant (who didn't do anything with his talent, and was cast out into the darkness etc etc) is in fact the hero.</p><p>And turning to the story of the Sheep and Goats, and thinking - maybe that's how we should approach that? What if the Goats, who are not doing the "good works" expected of them, are in fact the ones who are protesting against an unfairly structured society? What if visiting those in prison is effectively supporting the elite in their use of imprisononment as a tool of injustice against the poor? Acting as an opiate of the masses when they should be rejecting the whole concept of jail as a civilised way of dealing with issues?<br /></p><p>What if those feeding the hungry are in fact thereby propping up and unjust and capitalist system? Because, after all, it's the State that should be feeding the hungry. All the food banks are just covering up the injustice, when to refuse to feed the hungry is the radical act that demands we rise up and overthrow the whole system from the top down? Starting with... erm... God.</p><p>And so the goats are cast into eternal punishment. Martyrs to the cause. We stand with you, comrades.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-42223048078667897522023-11-18T16:22:00.006+00:002023-11-19T08:09:42.854+00:00In the making of Memes there is no End<p>Apparently this quote from Facebook (where I saw it) is by someone called David Rankin. I have no idea which of the many David Rankins. But it doesn't matter, of course, as it's been turned into a meme. It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you've put words onto a wacky image and saved it as a jpg, it must be true. No Harvard referencing system required.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH6nro6kFwXav6-VazdLKg8MNjKU_PbW9wBJu0ZkYPxMDMtLDvChYZtKXV-i7vHQbDX-DzzLtOTtQ_9jmfoWXS0ygttiHs3DxsLLKRtBxtgNApS87aymm2ddYj4Z12ZHcz0uoC6Zpm-gsjAD_OFrt4My1GC6kP1HUbpWMFtRqGog8XS7el8Ibj8yzCBFY/s579/Apocalyptic%20religion.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Olde worldy looking woman saying "You can't trust an apocalptic religion to solve real-world solutions. Their identity is based on the world ending"." border="0" data-original-height="579" data-original-width="526" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH6nro6kFwXav6-VazdLKg8MNjKU_PbW9wBJu0ZkYPxMDMtLDvChYZtKXV-i7vHQbDX-DzzLtOTtQ_9jmfoWXS0ygttiHs3DxsLLKRtBxtgNApS87aymm2ddYj4Z12ZHcz0uoC6Zpm-gsjAD_OFrt4My1GC6kP1HUbpWMFtRqGog8XS7el8Ibj8yzCBFY/w364-h400/Apocalyptic%20religion.jpg" width="364"></a></div><br><p>The meme is using a fairly imprecise meaning of "apocalyptic that really means "eschtological", I think. And when you look at the <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2025%3A14-30&version=ESV">Parable of the Talents</a>, you've gotta say it's pretty end-timesy, but not all that apocalyptic. Jesus doesn't invoke dragons, beasts, talking horns and all of the genuine apocalyptic stuff, just a bloke going on a journey and leaving behind some slaves to look after some money.</p><p>And bear in mind it is money. The English word "talents" comes from this parable. But in the parable, it's a huge amount of money. One talent is maybe twenty years' labour for a worker.</p><p> And the parable isn't about just sitting around and waiting for the owner to come back, whatever the meme writer may think. If anything the opposite. The slave who just sits around and waits for the owners' return is the one who gets the telling off. It's the ones that are active about their masters' business who are commended.</p><p>And that's what Jesus expects of us through this parable. We have an amount of time alloted to each of us. We don't know how long it will be till we are called home, or Christ comes - in whatever way. What are we going to do with it? We can make smug Internet memes like the smug atheists (other smug belief systems' memes are available). Or we can assist food banks. Visit the sick. Raise money for Ukraine. Work to give medical assistance to people in other, less fortunate countries.</p><p>The irony of the slave who buried his talent is that burying it was actually more trouble than taking it to the bankers. We can actually put more effort into evading the responsibilities we have, than into fulfilling them. We can run after all sorts of unproductive things rather than do something useful with your time.</p><p>And this is not a call that every Christian should be a superhero for Jesus all the time. It's possible for us all to be tired, depressed, old, feeling that we cannot be producting servants, generating eternal wealth. But the master in the story has handed out the talents in different amounts - and yet both the man with five talents and the man with two received the same reward - to be given more responsibility and enter into their master’s favour.</p><p>But in the round, for all of us - to quote the meme - is our identity around the world ending? Yes it is. But when Jesus comes, we shan't be sitting around waiting for him - that would be burying our talents. We shall have been busy doing his work for him, and shall receive our reward.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-32240034421822183642023-11-01T08:09:00.001+00:002023-11-01T08:09:21.021+00:00All Souls’ – an explanation<div>A quick correction on the advert we put up on the BeakerWeb for our All Souls’ Service.
</div><div><br></div><div>When we said “we will be commemorating all those who have died by lighting candles at our Sunday Evening Service”, we didn’t mean that Sunday Evening services are particularly dangerous.
</div><div><br></div><div>Nor is there any need for an exclusion zone around the tea light stands.</div><div><br></div><div>I hope this clarifies matters.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-76245540202543911952023-10-10T21:32:00.002+01:002023-10-10T21:32:22.210+01:00Nativity of Kirsty MacColl (1959)<p>This seems about right for these particular Titanic Days. "Children of the Revolution". Johnny Marr guitar. Kirsty vocals. And a message as depressing and appropriate today as 31 years ago.</p><p><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Uw0jaeEtuUo?si=WKVyOv9hKiO6AE3K" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-4195665168976352462023-10-07T20:13:00.004+01:002023-10-07T20:49:22.305+01:00Celebrating Meetingtide<p>There's so many "tides" in the Church these days. Christmastide, obviously. Eastertide, natch. Ascensiontide, swiftly followed by Whitsuntide. The newly-invented Creationtide, the Year B late-summer speciality of "Breadtide", and of course for progressive fellowships, there is Pridetide.</p><p>But there's a Tide that is not really being celebrated. And that Tide comes in late September / October each year.</p><p>It's in that gap between the school Summer Holidays, and Rememberingtide. When a well-organised fellowship has got its Harvest Festivals out of the way, (wary of bumping up the congregation count too much in October, let the Reader understand).</p><p>Meetingtide.</p><p>All those things that need to be squeezed in between other things, get squeezed in. In the Beaker community, we have Moot, Mini-Moot, the Little Pebbles Planning Session, the Grand Myfanwy, the Eisteddfodd, and the annual trip to Wells-Next-the-Sea before the crabs get too drowsy.</p><p>In the Church of England, a busy and engaged person could have a PCC, Standing Committee, Churches Together in Dibley, Property Committee, Deanery Synod, Diocesan Synod, Governors' Meeting, and, if a clergy, the Deanery Chapter, which always sounds like a fairly non-scary version of the Hell's Angels. More like Heaven's Biscuit-Nibblers, I guess.</p><p>The General Synod officially happened months ago, but apparently some of them are still in York, arguing about sex.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPV5uvhyphenhyphenpixzcnYM56iaY5UOgMdNIJ3O7Rw5ul83oQwm8sobw1pTsxw0t0Byspb58qMbQJ3AOEF-Tp9q8_66ie0YCXkA_n8KYJDJBsOYb_hh5OTwkOtdaKoZVAeGOyPQ-OQNV9eVQ9xwmqm5qQ0WP9xTAYVI3xFcvWw46aC8xGmElLnadweW9lfEgKT18/s256/craiyon_203624_two_male_and_three_female_druids_who_are_real_human_beings__wearing_druidic_pointy_ha.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Two people in Druid hats at a meeting table" border="0" data-original-height="256" data-original-width="256" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPV5uvhyphenhyphenpixzcnYM56iaY5UOgMdNIJ3O7Rw5ul83oQwm8sobw1pTsxw0t0Byspb58qMbQJ3AOEF-Tp9q8_66ie0YCXkA_n8KYJDJBsOYb_hh5OTwkOtdaKoZVAeGOyPQ-OQNV9eVQ9xwmqm5qQ0WP9xTAYVI3xFcvWw46aC8xGmElLnadweW9lfEgKT18/w400-h400/craiyon_203624_two_male_and_three_female_druids_who_are_real_human_beings__wearing_druidic_pointy_ha.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p>Of course, like any proper season of the church, Meetingtide has its own special food and drink. Tiny packs of biscuits, and bad instant coffee*. But, things not being what they used ter be, these days it's mostly bring your own.</p><p>So October goes in a blaze of meetings, and at the end you're looking at All Saints, All Souls, Rememberingtide, Christ the King, and then it's officially Christmas for six weeks.</p><p>So wishing you all a happy Meetingtide. Keep your chins up, there's only 4 weeks to go.</p><p><br /></p><p>* You're right. There is no good instant coffee.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-71019202296754522352023-09-29T16:40:00.000+01:002023-09-29T16:40:07.696+01:00Rishi Sunak and the Robin Hood Tree<p><i>This week's article in "Revering Nature" is from Rishi Sunak</i></p><p>Hello everyone. And I hope you've all noticed how much more competent I am than my predecessors.</p><p>My first thought when I heard about the felling of the Sycamore Gap tree was "What a great shame. Such a lovely tree felled for no obvious reason."</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQyEmIgSzhRtwhguegEGJ5VFMmE4R9YNY10jrtMV_muWc1mVJV8L0QTzyJkq9gAIwkLpFkrUW64JF5FwbDdIZpw3p6iZs8KQP4qNa2bgDkBXHcidyTVr99wVA4XPLWcFu5kaP4Q5Cto23dTDcsNSBmkkZMPxNyc_c6yntwwIyaIOk1MknQY2PrTegCx9E/s1280/Sycamore_Gap_Tree_arbre.jpg.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A lovely tree in the gap between two hills" border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQyEmIgSzhRtwhguegEGJ5VFMmE4R9YNY10jrtMV_muWc1mVJV8L0QTzyJkq9gAIwkLpFkrUW64JF5FwbDdIZpw3p6iZs8KQP4qNa2bgDkBXHcidyTVr99wVA4XPLWcFu5kaP4Q5Cto23dTDcsNSBmkkZMPxNyc_c6yntwwIyaIOk1MknQY2PrTegCx9E/w400-h266/Sycamore_Gap_Tree_arbre.jpg.webp" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>But then I said to myself - isn't that what Sadiq Khan or Keir Starmer would say? And don't I need to clutch the motorist-friendly agenda? Where drivers all over Great Britain are free to drive 4x4s at 15mph through city streets where the limit is 70, if only there wasn't too much traffic? A Britain we can all be proud of?</div><div><br /></div><div>And looking again I realised - now that tree is out of the way, won't that be a great gap through the hills through which to drive transport infrastructure?</div><div><br /></div><div>Not a railway line, obvioously. Although I'm commited to HS2, of course. And I look forward to when customers can catch replacement Ubers along the complete line of the HS2, between Old Oak Common and somewhere near Aylesbury. Bringing levelling-up very definitely to the north-west. Of Buckinghamshire.</div><div><br /></div><div>No - a gleaming motorway. Stretching from Newcastle to Carlisle, removing the need to slow down and look at those boring hills we have "oop north", as we Yorkshire folk call it. And no local councils keeping everyone down to 20 mph. You will be able to get across the north of England at any speed you like, and any local authority that tries to control you will be closed down, and put under the control of Nadine Dorries.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't say I didn't warn you.</div><div><br /></div><div>And none of your solar-powered cars - who ever gets enough sun up there? No, the great thing about the new "Sycamore Gap Motorway" is that Newcastle is just in the right place for <a href="https://news.sky.com/story/untapped-rosebank-oil-and-gas-field-north-of-scotland-approved-for-development-amid-row-over-climate-damage-12893255">importing good old-fashioned British petrol. From Norway</a>. </div><div><br /></div><div>The other name for the tree is "The Robin Hood Tree". What a great name. A famous example of someone who stole from everyone, and kept it to himself. And when he died - not a mention of inheritance tax.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Conservatives. The tarmac industry is safe with us.</div><br />
<hr /><p>Sycamore Gap tree photo: By <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=115374211">Clementp.fr - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0</a></p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-66250759636787270122023-09-28T13:51:00.001+01:002023-09-28T13:51:11.586+01:00The Root of All EvilI'd like to apologize to everyone who was disappointed at today's Harvest Lunch for the over 80s. <div><br /></div><div>Like you, I was anticipating a hearty and tasty meal of meatballs, pickled herrings, potato dumplings all washed down with blackcurrant schnapps.</div><div><br /></div><div>But it turns out that when Margöt said she was cooking "something Swedish", she meant "something swede-ish".</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope the turnip soup wasn't too bad.</div>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-34108063203782626102023-09-27T21:15:00.007+01:002023-09-27T21:18:43.034+01:00Liturgy for Bereft Brexiters<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGvmZePC-7ibDG-VuAKWoTneHq7IYDt_Wu7gACN_c0Z5v1R-CVFNbmw2m5X__d99EoADfDIC3n_63tml0zHCWGY21hXSDdYheE4SlviVDrkZOT_5EBYJXd6wYl_PPv920VX_nQbW1VMXUU2T0bx1gRAE0FkQ3IkplkEoVVY4_XYCCH0mF3OSGdmWrljP8/s487/Camilla.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Big picture of Mark Carney, small picture of Camilla Tominey (whose "think" piece it is) with headline: "The political class has betrayed Brexit by turning Britain into a European country"" border="0" data-original-height="487" data-original-width="406" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGvmZePC-7ibDG-VuAKWoTneHq7IYDt_Wu7gACN_c0Z5v1R-CVFNbmw2m5X__d99EoADfDIC3n_63tml0zHCWGY21hXSDdYheE4SlviVDrkZOT_5EBYJXd6wYl_PPv920VX_nQbW1VMXUU2T0bx1gRAE0FkQ3IkplkEoVVY4_XYCCH0mF3OSGdmWrljP8/w334-h400/Camilla.png" width="334" /></a></div><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 1: We have been betrayed</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: By the political class</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 2: We voted to control our own borders</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: A<a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/britain-delays-post-brexit-border-checks-eu-goods-till-2024-2023-08-29/">nd we have allowed others to control them for us</a></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 1: We voted for "them" to go home</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: And now the fruit lies unpicked,</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 2: <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-pubs-closed-clubs-london-nightlife-b2329008.html">you can't get a pint</a>,</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: a<a href="https://www.ft.com/content/674525e8-ce3e-42aa-b5d1-36260d17179a">nd a different "them" has arrived</a></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 1: We voted to reduce environmental red tape</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: A<a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12093349/How-SEWAGE-pumped-rivers-seas-near-you.html">nd now the beaches are poisoned.</a></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 1: Why has this all happened?</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: It is a mystery. It's so bad here, we'd move to Europe, only we voted to stop that.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 2: Why is the country so much worse than a few years ago?</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: We search for answers</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 1: It's because you haven't believed enough!</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Rishi Sunak: Brexit is a great success! You just haven't noticed!</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 2: Closet Remoaner! You have betrayed Brexit!</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 1: Great Brexit is very cross</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKSJQ_4oPDlQbIey8oM5KXUQtayNTU4VeMwcW0dEiJczNx7qo4hAQLUJmoj5Y6xLT3fNr1zbb9Zj8onGSiHnSi2mHPf1QtUR7yzm4xZ0KZovwMfc0YOdK9rknrSAJH_O-5VO-z3y-a7ivl9dh4sj6DZ6Kt3eUXDZd8qYo0NM9g9VxVizYfjTEGs3eLdMs/s559/great%20Brexit%20is%20very%20cross.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf in gingham outfit with pig tails and "Mr Flibble" the penguin glove puppet" border="0" data-original-height="546" data-original-width="559" height="391" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKSJQ_4oPDlQbIey8oM5KXUQtayNTU4VeMwcW0dEiJczNx7qo4hAQLUJmoj5Y6xLT3fNr1zbb9Zj8onGSiHnSi2mHPf1QtUR7yzm4xZ0KZovwMfc0YOdK9rknrSAJH_O-5VO-z3y-a7ivl9dh4sj6DZ6Kt3eUXDZd8qYo0NM9g9VxVizYfjTEGs3eLdMs/w400-h391/great%20Brexit%20is%20very%20cross.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Great Brexit is Very Cross</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 2: Great Brexit will arise and have his revenge</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 1: Great Brexit will destroy the doubters</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 2: Great Brexit will succeed</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: O Great Brexit, we are truly and heartily sorry. We have not believed in your benefits. We have sat around moaning about lazy young people when we could have picked fruit in the fields. We have complained about the prices in 'Spoons when we should have been drinking for Britain. We have failed you. We repent and will believe in Britain. From now on, instead of complaining there are no dentists, we will pull out our own teeth.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brexiter 2: Go out into the world, and trade!</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All: Can we do that on Zoom?</p>
<hr/><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Camilla Tominey screenshot - f<a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/09/22/political-class-betrayed-brexit/">rom the Telegraph</a></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Mr Flibble: From Red Dwarf, the BBC </p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></p><p></p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-14697667219096861612023-09-24T18:11:00.002+01:002023-09-24T18:11:57.339+01:00Is Twenty Plenty?<p>This comes from the Daily Mail - so <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12508327/The-slow-DEATH-30mph-20s-Plenty-zealots-cheering-woke-officials-reduce-Britain-CRAWL.html">click here if you want</a>, but don't say I didn't warn you.</p><p>As part of the Right and Rishi Sunak's latest culture war on the planet, they have obtained the views of Kevin Khan, 52. Who is opposed to the 20mph limit in Wales on the grounds that it already takes him an hour to get to work in Cardiff from Caerphilly.</p><p>Due to the traffic.</p><p>Doing some quick sums, and noticing from Google Maps that it is <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Caerphilly/Cardiff/data=!4m8!4m7!1m2!1m1!1s0x486e1840db446761:0xd19011de8eac8966!1m2!1m1!1s0x486e02d434ec53f5:0x143406db6586670e!3e0?sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjBg_-B3sOBAxWLWkEAHazJAuoQ-A96BAgQEAA&ved=2ahUKEwjBg_-B3sOBAxWLWkEAHazJAuoQ-A96BAgREA4">8.1 miles from Caerphilly to Cardiff</a>, I deduce that our Kev is currently getting to work at an average speed of 8.1 miles per hour.</p><p>I'm not clear how Kevin thinks that a 20mph speed limit will slow him down here, I'll be honest. Because, blaming his lengthy commute (an ebike would be quicker) on the traffic, and on people not looking when they cross the roads, as he does - what has the speed limit got to do with it? At that average speed, even if the limit in Cardiff were 10 mph, Kevin would still be getting to work in the same time.</p><p>But he does look very fetching in his hi vis.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-35708186452637056862023-09-22T20:11:00.002+01:002023-09-22T20:15:41.455+01:00Autumn is y-cumen In<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHNbCsfqgrUIA4gwlK58_mCdTVxZ504TZyCIl9DXJrGHE4zkIxxDFIP5Yxh2x1WqgM_1b3h02PvJtNQnUtGyiR4zeWdCrjb_qTiM9z5Wu7MTmRO2Kir2iSXRw0kuyGcZOgV9MQM6is3bLeKQ10iC_m1gXjzyClUqZTcZgWzxoidayOerDih2asTN0ayNg/s540/Autumn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="406" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHNbCsfqgrUIA4gwlK58_mCdTVxZ504TZyCIl9DXJrGHE4zkIxxDFIP5Yxh2x1WqgM_1b3h02PvJtNQnUtGyiR4zeWdCrjb_qTiM9z5Wu7MTmRO2Kir2iSXRw0kuyGcZOgV9MQM6is3bLeKQ10iC_m1gXjzyClUqZTcZgWzxoidayOerDih2asTN0ayNg/s320/Autumn.jpg" width="241" /></a></div>For all those who've been claiming since the first of the month that it's autumn, thanks to the inability of meteorologists to program spreadsheets: you only have 12 hours to wait. At 07:50 tomorrow it will in fact be Autumn.<p></p><p>I realise that this is still too early for some of those of you who also failed to get up for Summer Solstice sunrise. But for you there is also the chance to watch the Occasion on Beaker+1, Beaker+2, and - in 2029 - UK Drama.</p><p>Still. Here is tomorrow's order of events.</p><p><br /></p><p>Introit: Autumngirlsoup (MacColl)</p><p>First Reading: John Clare "Autumn" </p><p>Gradual: Last Day of Summer (MacColl)</p><p>Second Reading: Keats "To Autumn"</p><p>Young Keith: Do you like Kipling?</p><p>All: I don't know. I've never kippled.</p><p>Archdruid: No, that's Mr Kipling. Advert from the 80s?</p><p>All: The whats?</p><p>Closing Hymn: Forever Autumn (Hayward)</p><p><br />Lighting of the Autumnal Fire</p><p>Closing-down of the Autumnal Fire by the Pollution Police</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-29373681826676765782023-09-21T12:51:00.001+01:002023-09-21T12:51:20.194+01:00Getting in the Bin with Rishi Sunak<p>I'd like to thank our current prime minister (and 5th worst on record*), Rishi Sunak, for his<a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/speeches/pm-speech-on-net-zero-20-september-2023"> kind thoughts</a> on letting the planet burn this afternoon.</p><p>It's very important to Mr Sunak to cave in to Nigel Farage on this. The whole country is after all playing a second-hand game of culture wars. And Nigel is very much the master with his hand working his little puppet, lest half the Tory party go off to a dreamworld where Brexit would be a success if it were just Brexity-er.</p><p>So we're all set to burn the pile of old tyres we'd stacked up on the Lower Field.</p><p>But we've also got to get the Rishi Sunak 7 Bins together now.</p><p>Naturally, being there's 7 we are able to have rainbow colours. Which are assigned as follows<br /><br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Red: Red Tape</li><li>Orange: Irish political agreements after "Lord" David Frost has been at them</li><li>Yellow: Rishi Sunak himself, when being pressured by the right-wing into inventing yet another artificial culture war.</li><li>Green: Grass clippings</li><li>Blue: Sawdust</li><li>Indigo: Discarded 1970s Children shows</li><li>Violet: Everything else</li></ul><p></p><p><br /></p><p>* Since you ask: </p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Liz Truss</li><li>Boris Johnson</li><li>Theresa May</li><li>Neville Chamberlain</li></ol><p></p><p><br /></p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-45744520565351319072023-09-18T22:46:00.001+01:002023-09-18T22:46:52.065+01:00The Church Decline Rag<div>A joyful Sunday morning church, a scattering of kids</div><div>And a warden came to me and said "this place is on the skids</div><div>There was four times this attendance back in 1984</div><div>and you've failed to bring the numbers back to where they were before.</div><div>This modern language book you use is losing people too - <br /></div><div>everybody was much happier with 1662."</div><div> </div><div>But his wife said...</div><div> </div><div>"The Sunday you're remembering was in 1989 </div><div>'twas when Old Father Pipkins had announced that he'd resign</div><div>and all the village gossips came to hear what he would say</div><div>about why Mrs Jones was in the vicarage each day?</div><div>The Sunday Mail reporter, hearing nothing, was bereft</div><div>so he interviewed the organist, made an excuse, and left."</div><div> </div><div>She went on... </div><div> </div><div>"And even back in those days, Pipkins used the ASB - </div><div>apart from the Lord's Prayer you wouldn't hear a "thou" or "thee"</div><div>and that was when the Hendersons had all their family back</div><div>and their children were so many that you'd think they were Von Trapps.</div><div>But you're right there was so many there - the place was rather full</div><div>Do we understand the reasons why the church has lost its pull?</div><div><br /></div><div>"So do you know the Johnson clan? That family was so quiet</div><div>till the little one got rowdy once - you said it was a riot.</div><div>Because he'd pushed a hymn book off the pew right next to you</div><div>You turned and stared - and he was scared - let's face it, he was two.</div><div>So these days they don't bother - they just get some extra bed."</div><div>"They could decide to come along, and leave the kids, instead."</div><div><br /></div><div>The warden wasn't finished yet - he pointed to the pew</div><div>Where Mrs Gray (ex chorister) has sat since '92.</div><div>"The music's nothing like it was since we lost a proper choir.</div><div> Your happy-clappy singing hasn't set the world on fire."</div><div>His wife said "yes, the choir wouldn't sing <i>Shine Jesus Shine</i>.</div><div> Yet the school kids when they come here think that song is really fine."</div><div> </div><div>"And the choir," she continued, "they all walked out over robes.</div><div>because of the obsession of the Reverend Father Strobes</div><div>who said they couldn't wear red as we aren't a royal foundation </div><div>(he forgot the Grant from Peada, of the Middle-Angle nation)</div><div>The tenors said that green robes didn't compliment their eyes</div><div>and so they left the church that day and worshipped at St Ive's.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>"And don't forget the ones who've not come back since 2020.</div><div>the ones who say they fear the plague, and claim they're blessed with plenty<br /></div><div>by watching Facebook every week - they say they're staying in<br /></div><div>though I suspect that they're in 'Spoons, for breakfast and a gin.</div><div>And then there are the ones who dare not go out for their fear<br /></div><div>but the visitor they do let in - is the young vicar, here."</div><div><br /></div><div>And so the Warden shuffled out, crestfallen and ashamed</div><div>And I felt a certain triumph - for 'twas me that he had blamed</div><div>And I went into the Vestry and took out the service book</div><div>and entered "twenty-five": and yet I had to have a look</div><div>At the year of 1996 when Strobes - so fine and clever<br /></div>Had writ - it turns out - "twenty-four" - and no doubt blamed the weather.Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-39727293026385790292023-08-25T20:34:00.003+01:002023-08-25T20:34:32.841+01:00Evgenadine<p>People have been concerned that poor <a href="https://cyber-coenobites.blogspot.com/2023/08/welcome-to-gene.html">Gene might be a bit lonely in the Stonehouse Suite</a>. To be fair, Mr Presley is getting inclined to fall asleep at a moment's notice, spends a lot of his life singing "Old Shep" to Shergar, and his conversation is mostly just saying "thank you very much."</p><p>But please don't worry. Gene has Nadine Dorries as a next door neighbour. They can have lovely chats about what it's like to work for somone dedicated to destroying the security and prosperity of the United Kingdom. And all those people who say Nadine never visits her constituency are wrong. In fact, she never leaves.</p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795284845836270713.post-25105935235934674942023-08-24T19:16:00.000+01:002023-08-24T19:16:08.105+01:00Welcome to Gene<p>Welcome to our new Beaker Person, Gene E.</p><p>He says he's just dropped in, but now he needs a retreat. </p><p>He'll be staying in the Stonehouse suite, with old Mr Presley. Mr Presley says he's all shook up at the news, but he's looking forward to the improved catering.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyKmDizJIyY7tBcCyAZEPvn8FATvORqvTzVDm2vJ1k19rzgp-ALc0gRS-ZsTpANrs5cTS6WAJXv1_tDUDqk6IPmaLv44yx4n_2oyFyovmLwaWuGXdRoI2Fj5dCQyZ87FRc0DERJMR1Qd0eVIufCpJJT1oBiFyfxjRZEfRE7Bo-2pABXCMruyh21WLkM4/s741/priz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Famous picture of Yevgeny Prizhogin, with a beard" border="0" data-original-height="741" data-original-width="604" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyKmDizJIyY7tBcCyAZEPvn8FATvORqvTzVDm2vJ1k19rzgp-ALc0gRS-ZsTpANrs5cTS6WAJXv1_tDUDqk6IPmaLv44yx4n_2oyFyovmLwaWuGXdRoI2Fj5dCQyZ87FRc0DERJMR1Qd0eVIufCpJJT1oBiFyfxjRZEfRE7Bo-2pABXCMruyh21WLkM4/w261-h320/priz.jpg" width="261" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Oh, just another thing... Gene is very shy. And says please can we not let people know he's here?</div><br /><p><br /></p>Archdruid Eileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06481946916045861117noreply@blogger.com1