Notices

I've noticed - ho-ho - that we're spending an awful lot of time these days at Pouring Out of Beakers each morning, reading out the Notices at the start of services. Yes, I know that the things we do the rest of the day are also part of our communal worship - the life of the communal body - but it just takes too long. Sometimes it can take 10 or 15 minutes to get through every activity that's going on. And when there's a big event coming up we announce it every day for weeks. By the end of the Notices we've forgotten why we're there. If we ever knew in the first place.

Some have tried to emphasise the vital nature of the Notices. I remember when Hnaef that time decided to put in a prayer of blessing for each activity mentioned. By the time he got to the end, I just pronounced the Final Blessing and we all left. And dinner was cold.

So I'm putting them all here so we don't waste all that time.

Although I will read them out at Pouring out of Beakers as well. For those people who don't read Notices.

The "Proper place for Prepositions" group has merged with the "Society against Split Infinitives", after they noticed they had exactly the same membership. I hope you're going to support them. It's just the kind of initiative we need to really get behind.

The INFP group's meeting is to be held in their own rooms. They had been planning a Woodland Ramble to celebrate their quiet, creative, unplanned natures. Unfortunately they hadn't actually mentioned it to anyone, and so no-one's organised it.

The People Wearing Red Shirts are hiding in the Moot House, refusing to go out in case they're caught by aliens.

The Beaker Secularists' Group will be having their annual Nowhere Near Any Religious Festival Party. They like to hold this in a liturgically fallow time of the year, to prove they're free from any religious influence. Once again, their female membership count is zero, so it's Mostyn's turn to wear the frock.

Finally, the Smash Big Business Class Warriors are holding a meeting later. Clearly the exact details are a secret, so could all members keep their iPhones 2 with them at all times so they don't miss the instructions.